So, that's what they called the baby giraffe at the zoo. It came to the point where it was switching from nursing from momma giraffe to regular adult giraffe food. It wouldn't eat and it died. They had no reason for it other than "failure to thrive". So as my daughter is gumming her apricot in the handy dandy food net so she doesn't choke, I'll type about my son who has an "over abundance to thrive" and will in the end either get himself taken away from us or die.
Since March, we have had 4 ER visits and I am pretty done. That averages out to be 1 a month. In July, we have had 3 ER visits which to this point is .75 ER visits a week for a whole month.
I love this boy, I really do, but he is exhausting both of us. Both Matt and I feel as though we've aged 30 years.
This latest adventure and visit to the hospital is all about his curiosity of mechanics and his need to drink EVERYTHING around him that's liquid.
Our lawnmower died and so it's just been kind of sitting while Matt decides if he wants to fix it or not. Or keep it as a memento. We are probably going to bronze it. And when he dies, it will be his headstone. I don't know, he just has this attatchment to the thing.
Somehow, my Houdini son managed to unscrew the cap to the gas tank and while playing with the hose, filled up the gas tank. Oh Look! Liquid. I must drink it!
I looked up to him spluttering and running away and figured the booger had just sprayed himself in the face with the hose again. He does it on occasion and it startles him enough that he thinks it's funny. But then when he kept struggling to breathe and started to retch, I ran over to see what was up and was overtaken by the smell of gas fumes.
I threw his clothes off him and onto the lawn and looked over and realized he actually been playing with the lawn mower.
So... is this where I'm nominated for Mother of the Year award because my kid drank gasoline right in front of my face while we were both in the back yard and I didn't see it? :/
I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't know if he'd gotten much in his stomach or if he just tasted it or if he had gotten some down his gullet how much, do you induce vomiting, drink milk, eat bread, just drink water, do nothing, etc. That was what went through my head in the few seconds it took for me to put him on the floor of the kitchen and call poison control.
The guy on the other end heard him coughing and told me that I HAD to get him to an ER IMMEDIATELY!!!
Way to keep a mom from panicking dude.
He asked if I could drive and I had just seen Michael's car out front so I told him that I could. He said he'd call Primary Children's hospital to let them know we were on the way. I walked outside to tell Mike I needed him to drive us to the ER and the car was gone. GONE!!!!
Then I really panicked. This is the time that an old school brick phone is handy. I started pushing buttons faster than my phone could deal with and then would open whatever place I had clicked then again and again and again. I ended up calling 2 different people, couldn't hang up, then had to sit while a stupid game loaded before I could actually call Matt or 911. It took all of my strength to keep the phone in my hand and not throw it through the front window.
I got a hold of Matt and he was 20 minutes away, could I walk to the hospital?
Um...Primary's is like an hour with both kids in the stroller. He was thinking LDS just a couple blocks away. I reminded him that they'd just send us to Primary's. Then, with what I could tell was a shrug with the comment, he told me to call an ambulance since we've met our deductible at least 3 times now just this year so it'd be on our insurance.
I made my very first and hopefully last 911 call.
Then I realized I didn't know what to do with Bea. She was napping. They told me not to leave Linus's side and make sure that he is breathing and responsive and his color stays ok. Which I at least knew that much. But I also knew he would flip his shit (pardon the french, but have you seen him freak out? You know what I mean) if I left him with the EMT's.
So, I'm running up the stairs with him in my arms, I put him down to pick up Bea, pick up Linus, run back down the stairs, realize that I can't open the door with my feet from this side and had to put both babies down to open the door, pick up Linus, ran next door, wasn't sure that I rang the door bell cause Matt called, the neighbor answered the door, I asked if she could watch my baby while we went to the hospital for Linus, um...crap...I left her in the house, I'll be right back, right then the ambulance shows up, I grabbed Bea, neighbor grabbed her, I took Linus to the ambulance, realized that the paramedics came and they were beautiful.
Ok, so that really is what it was like in real life.
Except that I did talk to Matt on the phone for a second in there, I did hear the sirens and thought for a split second that it was cool we got sirens, Noticed the firetruck and couldn't figure that one out till I saw the paramedic and then realized my state of dress and grooming.
This next part will really only be funny to those of you who watch the tv show Modern Family. There was one episode where one character was having a kidney stone attack in the middle of the night and he finally let his wife dial emergency. She then put her makeup on and put her sexy shirt on and he was all, "did you just get dressed up for them?"
Then, the gay couple have a fire in the microwave and they call emergency and they both get dressed up for the firemen.
I didn't get the chance. I was straight up haggard, house wife, I haven't left the house in 3 days. I hadn't done my hair. I had no makeup on. I couldn't tell you the last time I plucked my werewolf eyebrows, or shaved, legs or pits. I was wearing capris to go with the awesome hairy legs. I was also wearing my nursing cami around the house and didn't get a chance to put on a decent shirt. I am not even sure I put on deoderant. Not that it matters because the smell of gasoline was pretty over powering, but still. The paramedics were beautiful.
Anyway, after my shallow wallowing and then giggle about it. We got to the hospital, were seen super quick and this is what we found out. Hydro-carbons are digestible. It's ok to drink them. But it irritates the stomach so if you vomit them back up, you can aspirate the fumes. The fumes are the problem because you then possibly get a chemical pneumonia. Which can then lead to a bacterial pneumonia. They said that is why they look for soot around mouths and noses after a fire or burn injury. Because the kids could be at grandma's house and the chemical pneumonia sets in so fast they could die in hours.
So, we had to sit in the hospital for 5 hours and then get a chest x-ray. And Linus couldn't eat or drink anything for a while just in case he started to crash and needed to be intubated.
At this point, I at least felt a little vindicated that I had done the right thing in calling the ambulance. I have had some emergency medical training and I know I can't differentiate between my education in the area or me being the mom. Especially after this being the 4th time we've been into an ER since March, I was hesitant.
I also started to wonder at what point do they look at his history and call child protective services. I did jokingly tell the doctor that I have Linus take the tops of the medicine off because I just can't do it and he can get into everything.
As soon as Linus realized that these guys in scrubs weren't going to suction his nose or poke at his burns which are now fully healed, he was in 7th heaven. He wanted to play with the cars and be held and was great with the nurses, techs, and doctor. He didn't do so well with the x-ray, but that's just because it is a little scary.
The room smelled like an auto mechanic shop. He was breathing gas vapors for a while, as well as burping and tooting them. But after the x-ray, we got the green light to go home!
They told us to keep an eye on him for about 24 to 48 hours, but since he looked so good, he probably would be fine.
As of this posting, we are taking donations to buy Linus his new home. Seriously, click on it and check it out. You might get one for yourself. They look fun.
Anyone else afraid their kid is so over zealous to thrive that they may just cancel themselves out before they hit 5?