Thursday, July 15, 2010


Dear Mom,

I know that these last couple of weeks have been hard on you. I totally understand. Weddings, travel, injuries, long lost sons, theft, and then more theft. It's draining.

I just want you to know, I know you are having a hard time. I wish so much that I had so much Calgon you'd be taken away for a month.

I also want you to know that we are down to one car. I don't know if you know that or not, but between Matt and I, there is only one car. Otherwise, I'd have been down visiting and trying to boost your spirits. I know you know what it's like not having a vehicle. I remember pretty well when we were "in between" vehicles when I was a kid. The time between the blue station wagon and the red truck. The time between the red truck and the Dodge minivan. The times when the minivan was broken. The time when the minivan just died. Or when your vehicles were taken by Dad for various reasons.

Anyway, I also want you to know that I, too, am in a bit of a funk. I think I am exhausted. I think my medication is off, and I think that I just don't deal with this much stress for so long. I have hit my brick wall. I know you know what that's like.

Just, please, don't think that I don't care. Don't think I don't understand your pain and sadness at this most recent event of loss. I may sound preoccupied but I've got me a toddler who is now so clingy he can't bear to have my attention anywhere but on him. All the time. He will barely sleep in his bed by himself.

I will make it up to you. I just want you to know how much I love you and how grateful I am for everything you do. You are one tough broad who just keeps on truckin'. I know you got that great trait from GG who will outlive us all. I'm convinced.

On the Linus front, he loves his books and asks me to read them to him at least 3 times a day. He certainly likes that Strawberry book and really likes the McDuff book. He loves his dog ball so much that he took it with him on his last burn clinic appointment. Thank you for getting him a ball he can throw and it won't hurt Bea. He carries the fish puppet around quite a bit and likes to have it kiss my face. He is trying to hard to figure the snail out. Good choice in gifts Nana.

Have I mentioned the exhaustion? Unfortunately, I know you can sympathize. I have seen you hit your shut down mode and I am there right now. Hopefully soon I will be back on my feet and be a better daughter in your time of need.

I love you,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

dadgumit, you made me cry at work! :0 I wish I could get that much Calgon as well. I also wish depression was not a family trait -- sorry about that. But I am happy that personal and familial strength are also family traits. Please don't feel you could have done any more than you have already. I know you and the others have your hands so full you wish you had six hands. I am happy with "I love you and see you" (I saw Avatar and love that "I see you") we just do the best we can with what we've got, and really, get more than we deserve. I love you and I'm just glad you're mine.