Thursday, April 30, 2009

again... family is complicated

Every family has tragedy, drama, sicknesses, skeletons. As much as I'd like to say that is every family but mine, well, that would be a lie. Growing up, I was sure we didn't have those, but as I got older and old enough to understand them, well, I finally learned about them. Now, don't start drooling thinking that there are going to be any juicy stories. I am not going to air dirty laundry, that is tacky. I would however like to talk about the most recent development in my family that we are dealing with. It is a subject that I feel very strongly should not be considered a skeleton, but instead is a tragedy and a sickness.

My dad is the second of 4 kids, James, Amelia, and Mac. I have asked a lot of questions about my dad and his siblings. My dad and his brother James were both born in Joinkrama, Nigeria, Africa. My Granny was a Southern Baptist missionary and medical doctor there. When my dad was about 6 months old, he and my uncle both contracted polio and the family were shipped home for treatment. I never knew Amelia because she died at the age of 12 from complications due to spina bifida and hydrocephalus. I know Mac pretty well at one point, but not much of his childhood nor do I know him very well now.

Asking questions about these kids, has led me to the knowledge that my dad spent a lot of time at Grandmother Cox's house in Texas fishing and shooting birds. I finally found out why. Apparently, for my Granny and Grandpa Frank having to try to deal with James and Amelia, it was easier for them to send the easier child to Grandmother Cox. Amelia was very sick and so that was difficult, but from what I understand, James was just a very hard child to deal with. Very demanding and very time consuming.

Eventually James got married to Lynne mom's sister. Then a little bit later my dad married my mom. So, my dad's brother married my mom's sister. Sounds a little backwoods and hillbilly, but it's not really. That makes their kids my double cousins I guess.

When I was about 1, my Grandpa Frank died from a heart attack and my dad and Uncle James took over his business of wholesale pet supplies ie: Edwards Pet Supplies. I grew up in that environment, a big warehouse that smelled of pine, fish food, and dog food, and my dad and James in an office with two desks facing each other. We would go to work with my dad in the summers and so we spent quite a bit of time with Uncle James, Aunt Lynne, and their kids.

Now, what I am going to write next will probably be offensive to some, might sound heartless to others, I don't know, I am just writing what I perceived and how I feel.

I grew up not liking the man. I didn't like how my dad acted after being with him or after talking to him on the phone. I didn't like the unease that my mom or dad exuded after speaking to him. I didn't like how he treated me or my siblings. I didn't like how he treated his family. I didn't like how he treated the workers in the warehouse. I could tell from early on that he was a difficult man to deal with and I always felt lucky that I had my dad instead of him as a dad. He was, as an adult, overly needing to be the center of attention. He always pushed the hugging and kissing on us and I am just not a fan of that sort of thing. If you don't want to hug or kiss someone, you shouldn't have to. He always made me a little uncomfortable with his pushiness. To be fair though, I will say there were many years I didn't like my dad either. We never saw eye to eye on anything. He has more than once said I was a disappointment. In my youth and my anger I have thought that I just wanted him to die. Then I would really think about it and think about what it would be like to not have him around. Even though I didn't like him at the time, I didn't ever really want him to die. That goes the same for Uncle James. Even though I didn't like him when I was younger, I would never wish that on someone or their family. And it would have been nice getting to know him with me as an adult to make a better decision on whether I still disliked him or if it had changed, like my feelings for my father have changed. I sure like the guy now, even with his quirks. It would have been nice to say that I liked his brother too, even with his quirks.

At some point, he fell and hit his head and he seemed to get worse "in the head". Now, I don't know if this falling and hitting his head made him worse, or if what they call "post-polio syndrom" was a factor, or if he just was a little off in the head and as he got older, he just couldn't control it like he could when he was younger. Who knows. But eventually, he and Lynne separated. I don't know any details. I don't know if there was a divorce. I really don't know anything other than just talk and can't really say for certain that it's valid or not. He eventually moved into a group home and lived there.

Now, I know he could not have been easy to live with. He had to be difficult to have as a father. I don't have any idea what his relationship with his kids were. It is not my place, really, to ask. It's none of my business. I've only ever once sat with any of these cousins to talk about our fathers, and that was last spring around this time when I was in Colorado for my Grandma's surgery. But, I can imagine there are some unresolved issues that would be difficult to ever resolve.

So, to the tragedy. Keep in mind, these are not the stone cold facts. This is just what I was told this morning and what I can remember after this long day. I got the news today that he called someone at the group home he is living for physical therapy and told them he was going to kill himself. He somehow got a hold of a gun and shot himself. I don't know where, either in body or place. To me, that is a shock. But, after talking to some members of the family, I guess he had been threatening and talking about it for 40 years. So, then again is the shock of "what set him off to actually do it?".

My disconnected view of this whole thing is this. I was not close my uncle and I guess some families are closer to their uncles than I am. When my husband's uncle died of brain cancer, he was very sad and pretty devastated about it. I guess that explains the reaction my friends have had about this death. I am apparently not reacting to this the way that others expect me to react. I haven't seen they guy in years and years. I am so amazingly appreciative of the support my friends have shown me and it makes comfortable I will have a great support system if/when something happens that I really, really need them.

Again, I don't know what my cousins' outlook on their father is. After talking to a friend today and discussing her relationship with her father who has been a little disconnected and difficult himself, she made a startling comment that struck a chord of truth with me and my feelings for this situation and why I am hurting for my cousins far more than I am hurting for the loss of this family member. She said that it must be harder to deal with the loss of a parent when you aren't at peace with them. There is the guilt of whatever negative feeling you were feeling the last time you saw them or the guilt of avoiding them to avoid fighting or whatever head trips that person put you on. That really makes sense to me. I can see how being at peace with your loved one either due to a long lingering illness and you knew death was imminent or if you just had a good relationship with them, must be a little easier to deal with. I will put in here that it does not mean there will not be any guilt. That is one of the stages in the grieving process, but I don't expect that it would be as long lived or that it would be the main source of the sadness.

Suicide. I want to put my two cents in on this subject. I don't ever want this sad event for my family to be a skeleton. I don't want it to be something whispered about or for it to turn into some sordid topic of gossip. My dad's younger brother asked my mom not to tell anyone that he did this to himself. I think that either he finds it to be a source of shame or that others will. I personally don't care what others think of this. I think that coming from the small town I come from and having so many people I know who have committed suicide, it would be nice to be able to openly talk about it instead of getting together in groups and whispering and pointing fingers with eyes wide with shock. I think it would be a great service to let it be known what it does to a family when a member does this great act of selfishness to themselves. What it does to their friends. I don't want to sound like some activist on the subject, but I have felt strongly on this subject for years and years. For no reason other than it is so hurtful to those around the person committing this act. I think after my own experience with it, I have nothing but anger and contempt. I had an ex-boyfriend who had the gall to give me his suicide notes and wanted me to hand them out to each person to which each was written. I can't even imagine the nerve and quite frankly wish I hadn't done all that I had done to try to prevent it from happening, I am that angry about the whole situation. Not that he has any different right to live, just that it was a supremely selfish thing to do to me and then having to explain to his mother what he had done. I don't ever want to have to see that pain in someone's eyes ever again. It was not fair to me and it was not fair to his family.

So, instead of this being a skeleton, a taboo topic in our family, I would like to say... sickness, tragedy, a sad event. But, never in whispered tones and behind my hand like it's a secret.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Ancient History

I am going to spend tomorrow or someday this week trying to figure out how the scanner works and how to get the pictures posted to my blog. I have so many pictures I want to share and I am going to apologize ahead of time to those of you whose pictures are going to posted.

I'm sorry, so sorry, don't hate me, I ask your forgiveness but not your permission. Teehee.

I am loving this being an adult thing more and more. I miss the carefree days of not having bills, not having responsibilities, not having anyone reliant on me, but as I believe I have written in the past, I love eating my dessert first if I want to. I love getting to go to a restaurant and only getting an appetizer if that's what I want. Or having the choice of when AND where I eat. I also love learning. I am learning so much about myself and about others that I am really enjoying my relationships as of late.

Please, let me state my disclaimer... I may not be the best friend you have during the best of times, but I will always be there for you when you need me. I may let you down during the fun days, but I will never let you down during the bad days. I will never, ever let you down when you need me and when you need a friend the most.

I have been able to get back in contact and spend more time with friends past. Friends past including one who I have known the longest. Twenty-four years I believe. Holy Smokes does that make me feel old. I have spent time with a friend I have know just as long and have been on again/off again friends this whole time. High School was fun with her and taking strength training together (she was one tough chicken!!). I have also spent a lot of time recently with a friend who started out being friends with my sister, Melissa Tyne. I have known this young lady since I was 11 or 12.

These ladies have seen me through many stages in my life. Many strange hair styles, makeup styles, clothes styles, and I have even lived with one of them for a week at a time here and there due to camps and mission trips we went on in High School.

Miss S, Miss A, and Miss K. You guys have really been a blast from the past and I am enjoying every minute of it.

Miss S, Miss A, and I have been getting together with our kids and dogs and getting a cuppa and going to the park or some other outdoor place. It's been a lot of fun getting to know these two better, especially seeing them as mothers. I've known Miss S since as long as I can remember. We have been friends off and on for years and pretty much stayed as friendly acquaintances throughout High School. She has always been very friendly and unassuming. I don't remember her ever caring who was friends with who, she would talk to those around her and joke around. At least that was my experience. Miss S is very natural. I really like this quality in her. She does not eat meat, she boycotts leather, and will buy local before anything else. It's very cute seeing her eyes and eyebrows on her cute little girl. I love that she, too, is a dog person. She also has a great, natural aspect of childbirth and raising of her child. Her outlook was the same as mine until I actually tried to plan mine and God laughed at me and decided to have something totally different happen. She is a HUGE advocate of breast feeding which I am think is very important. I unfortunately could not do that as long as I would have liked, but I am glad to see that more and more women are coming to find this as a norm. I would love to be able to go out in public and not have to deal with the stares and glares of those around me. Miss S, you are such a great "granola" princess.

Miss A moved to Garland, oh, I have no idea when. But, she and her family started coming to church where my family went and she and my sister hit it off and became fast friends. Her mom and my mom also became friends, so it was inevitable that I would get to know her pretty well. I remember "babysitting" her and her brother for a week while her mom was out of town for work or a church thing. I only remember two things about that week and neither of them was about Miss A, I am pretty that is a good sign and that she was great. I have known Miss A through her "goodie-goodie" days (LOL) and I knew her when she rebelled as we all do at some point in our lives. I have really good stories of her and some not so good stories. I am glad not very many people know me as well and for as long as I have known her, I am sure she's got some good ones and I would hate for that many people to have good stories.

I think my favorite memories of Miss A are the times that we spent prepping for and engaging in a Vacation Bible School week in Ignacio, Colorado. She and I taught the class of 4 and 5 year old pre-schoolers. All of us girls that went have some good stories of the houses and the people that were so generous to let us stay for the week. Our house wouldn't let us take showers longer than 5 minutes and the huband was a professional artist. Nothing too big a deal though that I remember. And our time in Glorieta, New Mexico... those are always good memories and I have very fond ones the year I went with her.

I was very surprised to learn that she had gotten married and had kids. I guess most of my friends and those in the varying surrounding circles just never seemed the settle down types. She has although accomplished in her early years what most never ever do, she met the perfect other half and is really enjoying life. She is very much an avid outdoorsman (or outdoorswoman for those feminists out there) and seems to have a great love for the outside, wilderness, and nature. I have only met one of her children and she is amazingly well behaved for how young she is. Of course, there is that hint of spunk that all little girls have, but she all in all keeps it under wraps in front of us guests. I am also a little surprised, but so very excited and proud of what she has accomplished in her spiritual life. She goes to a Baptist church in Holladay where she and her husband lead the youth group. She has some amazing stories about what they have done and accomplished (one of the stories is about how the youth group fasted for 30 hours I think and had a lock-in at the church and raised money for world hunger. AMAZING) Listening to her talk about the youth and what they have managed to get them excited to accomplish is pretty amazing. Going on mission trips and helping those that are less fortunate among the many things is amazing to me. Not enough kids get a chance to see what they have so they can really appreciate it.

It is very humbling to hang out with her and I feel a little more zen after spending time with her. There was a minute of her life where she was very intense and I know that comes with being unhappy and confused while being a teenager. Now, she is still intense in a very different way. She is VERY passionate about what she does and what she believes in but has wisdom beyond her years about not pressuring those around her to feel the same. You can sense her passion and her peace and it's a very peaceful aura to be around. Thanks Miss A! You are a true "natural" princess.

And last but not least, Miss K. I just figured I've always known her! I know there was an intitial meeting and get to know each other process, but I guess she has always been a kindred spirit and so it never really stuck in my memory as a strange and awkward event. She and I have been through a lot. I have been best friends with her since the 1st grade. We were thick as thieves for years. We had other friends kind of come and go in our little duet, but nothing that ever stuck in the middle of the two of us. I pretty much lived at her house. Every day after school, we'd go there and I would eventually make it home to my house. Her parents of so great to me and I appreciate their tolerance of my loitering at their residence. We were readers, writers, imagineers, we would push each other to do better in school. I think we had the best relationship, we could both be competitive, but it was never to the detriment of the other, we just wanted each other to excell. Oh, and we fought. Did we ever. We were like sisters for so long that nothing was taboo in the fights. Plus, we were both pretty good at thinking on our feet that it got pretty good. I still remember a few and they make me giggle.

Around the 6th grade, I started to feel the pull of peer pressure. I never cared before, but I guess that is part of the puberty thing. Something in the hypothalamus or the neocortex of the brain becomes sensitive to that sort of thing to go with the hormones, zits, and awkwardly growing bodies. I started spending a lot of time at church because they started a youth group. I really wanted to be a part of this group because I was not Mormon and not that it mattered at the time, it did now that I was looking at boys and wanting to date (sometime in the near future). So, I started to spend more and more time with these kids with the youth group and became really good friends with one of the girls there. She and Miss K did not get along so well. I wish I had the knowledge then of what I know now, and I would have just said that Miss K really meant too much to me to start spending so much time with this other girl, but again, peer pressure and wanting to fit in somewhere and wanting others to like me caused me to make a bad choice. I say it's bad now, only because I was not liked in the youth group for a few years. In fact, I think I can honestly say that most of the kids were downright cruel to me. I would go home, cry a lot, and then go back trying to make an effort to get along with these kids who went to a church and were supposed to believe in the same religious views that I did. There was a lot of suffering on my part for about 3 years dealing with church and youth group and missing my best friend. I couldn't just stop going to church, it was important to my Granny, therefore, it was important to me. Especially since I lived with her for so long and was living with her a lot at the time.

Now, why, do you ask, did I not just go to my best friend Miss K and tell her I was wrong to phase her out and that I would like to try to stay friends? Pride. Isn't that a sin or one of the 7 deadly something or others? I felt so dumb about it, and figured she'd laugh at me, and figured she had moved on and found better friends than me. It was a sad time. I needed a friend so bad in the 7th and 8th grade that I could really feel I could be myself with and I had put that person out of my life. Now, don't get me wrong, I had a few friends at the time, but no one I hung out with and no one I felt I could be myself with. I think 7th and 8th grade was the worst time of my entire life. Without a doubt.

So, moving on to High School, I had met a girl who was in band with me and I had a few classes with whom I became better friends with than I had in a while. She also had a friend with whom I became friends and we were the 3 musketeers for a little while before stupid girl stuff parted Miss M from our little trio. (That's another story that I regret. She was a fun, fun girl and I loved her parents.) By then, I was getting over this youth group thing, realizing I didn't care what they thought, I was different, I was becoming ok with that, and I was moving on. I guess basically I was growing up a little. I think it also helps I got my braces off and got contacts so that really helped me with my self esteem a little bit. Of course, I still missed Miss K, but we were running in VERY different circles by then. I was sure she would just laugh at me if I were to try to elbow my way in.

I will say, that no matter what happened, he family still really was a part of my family. Her dad ALWAYS kicked my ass...literally, when he saw me and gave me a hard time for not coming around or not taking his class. Her older sister was always nice and friendly and we'd chat. Strangely enough, Miss K's big sister and I ended up becoming friends and she was very close friends with the man I ended up marrying. I think that is something akin to fate or karma or something and that Miss K and I are supposed to be friends no matter what... isn't that what a BFF is? LOL

During High School, we would see each other and we would stop and visit, but I think we were both nervous about what the other thought about our friendship. I guess communication and going out on a limb are things you learn as you get older.

2006. Ten years after High School. So much has happened with me as well as with Miss K. Hanging out with my future husband and all of his friends (including the older sister to Miss K) I was able to eventually get an email address, start to email and now with it being 2009, we are finally getting to know each other again. She was able to come to my wedding in 2007 which was a big deal to me even though we hadn't really talked or spend much time catching up at that point. It's been so much fun reminiscing and really letting out our sides of our stories. It's been very uplifting and I feel like a weight has been lifted. Really, she and I are kindred spirits and I wish we weren't too old to have sleep overs. (And if you are reading this, watching "Ghostbusters" and rewinding the scary part over and over or watching "Young Guns" cause Emilio is hot.) I think we could spend weeks just talking and telling stories and getting to know each other a little better and become a little more up to date. It's too bad we have the distance of 60 miles to have a visit, and having kids makes it hard, but email is awesome, and I am going for a visit this week.

So, all of this reminiscing started with an email I got for my birthday. It still makes me cry when I read it. She sent something to me that has really made my year. It has touched me in a way that makes me so happy... well, lame as it is, I guess it's because it is so from the heart and not at all surface talk... "For the record, I never thought you were plain or gangly. You were my best friend and I always thought you were beautifully perfect!" Ya, I know, I am pregnant and hormonal, sue me. It makes me laugh that I remember her old phone number from childhood and every year I have always thought of her on her birthday. Strange. But, like I said, I love being an adult more and more the older I get and realize that I am only living by the boundries I am setting for myself. I am branching out, no more fear, no more regrets. Well, working on that, I am still a shy, insecure, girl that no one gets who is a bit strange on the inside. =)

PS- remember how we both used to fight over who got to name our Barbie Jessica? You almost always got the right. I was very surprised to find out you didn't name your daughter Jessica. LOL.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

It's my party and I can cry if I want to...

So, I am a big fan of my birthday, and I want everyone to celebrate it with me. I like to promote it and have a big to do. One year, the best birthday ever, I think I spent 2 weeks every evening out with a different friend or two having dinner or drinks or just having a good time. It was great to celebrate it for so long with so many of my friends.

This year...well, let's just say it wasn't the best one I've ever had. And not because I am getting older. I don't really seem to care about that.

I invited a whole bunch of people over to my house for a get together. I got quite a few "I'll be there's" and even more "I'll try to be theres". So I expected a crowd which would have been great. I am very excited to have a house I can entertain in.

I started my day with a whiny baby. Linus had to be held and when I put him down he'd get hysterical. GRRRRR! Baby! I have stuff I have to do! So I started to clean my house so it would be guest ready.... and continued to have a whiny, crying baby on my hands. Then, Moxie got stuck under the bed and couldn't get out. So, drop everything and lift up the mattresses so she can stand up and get out. Linus, still, won't stop crying. He is dry. He is fed. He has napped. He isn't too cold. He isn't too hot. He just wants to be freakin held. Why on the day that I have a million things to do??

Not to mention that I couldn't keep any food down. I was starving and everytime I ate, my belly felt so good... for 3 minutes. Then I projectile vomited without any warning. Gross to read? Ya, grosser to experience. No nausea, no turning stomach, nothing, just puking.

My beautiful, gentle giant dog is usually great in the kitchen. She hardly ever counter surfs or gets into stuff in the kitchen she isn't supposed to. Well, not this day. She stood up on her hind legs and used her long front legs to pretty much sweep everything off the counter before I could get to it to put it in the dishwasher. There goes glasses and plates. Again, because I have nothing better to do. I am pretty sure I almost killed her that day and she knew it. When I put her in the back room with access to the back yard and shut the doggy door, she didn't even whine. She knew dog-mommy was mad, mad, mad.

At this point, with the mess Moxie made, Linus still whining, I was starving and nothing would stay down (which makes anyone crabby I am sure) I was to the point of having a break down. I love my babies and would never hurt them, so, for their safety and mental sanity, like I said, Moxie was put in the backyard and I put Linus up in his crib. Thank God for ipods and earphones! I put my earphones in and cranked up my ipod and cried. And cried. And cried. I am pretty sure that Linus and I both cried for a good 2 hours. I wouldn't go get him and I cleaned my kitchen and when I was done crying, he had finally fallen asleep. I am aware that being pregnant doesn't help what with the hormones and all, but I have felt so good this time that I think when I don't feel good, it really hits me hard.

Oh, and can I say that by the time I had my melt down, I am very thankful Matt wasn't home. I think I would have thrown his Nutella jar and Nutella covered knife at him. He was late for work and I looked over and there was a butter knife covered in Nutella just sitting and getting hard on my counter. Ya, I know. Stupid thing to get so mad about but OMG! It's one of my pet peeves especially since there is a sink not 3 feet away. I know I am bad at doing things that are his pet peeve, but that was just a bad bad day to run into that. Normally I just curse a little to myself and then just clean it up.

I actually got my house cleaned, my self showered and done up, and everything was good to go before the time frame that I set for myself. And I waited for people to show up. Well, not even a tiny fraction of those I had hoped to show did. Sixteen people total. Six were family. Two were technically Matt's friends. (Not that I don't count you as friend Buddha and Dave but you know you come to see Matt more than anything. LOL) Needless to say, I was a little disappointed that so many people just couldn't come for whatever reason. Work, sicknesses, forgot, etc. I understand, I really do, but I am pregnant guys. I am sensitive and my feelings get hurt when my husband raises an eyebrow wrong at me. So... I am not mad. I am not resentful. My feelings were just hurt that day. But, I did get some nice Facebook wishes and texting wishes and I really appreciate the mailed cards.

Maybe next year will be better. I better not be pregnant again.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Linus updates.

I figured I haven't posted in a long while and so I would throw out some Linus updates.

Linus has been army crawling on the floor for a little while now, but yesterday, he figured out how to crawl on his hands and knees. He even likes to use his right foot to step. It looks mighty awkward, but he seems to like it.

He has had the white bumps under his gums for three weeks and FINALLY! his tooth popped through. He now resembles Captain Caveman and every time I look at him that particular cartoon character's "Caaaaaptaiiiin Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaave-maaaaaaaaaan" runs through my head. His second tooth on the bottom has just broken through so we are well on our way to no longer having a baby, but having a full fledged toddler running around.

It has been a lot of fun for me to listen to him practicing his sounds. When he is alone in his crib or playpen, he'll sit and talk to himself and his toys. He has gotten really good at "da-da-da-da" and will even call out "Dad!" He has yet to even get the mmm sound in unless he is crying and he'll get a pathetic "uuuum". He likes to stick his tongue out and rub the bottom of his tongue on his teeth, while saying "dadada". He'll also mimic anyone sticking their tongue out. He thinks it's hilarious. His new thing also is to nod his head "no". He has no idea what that means, but when he nods his head "no" along with "dadada" it seems he is referencing the dogs. When he just nods his head "no" with no noise, it seems he is referencing the fact he is tired and would like to go to bed. He'll lay in bed and rub his head "no" on his blankets.

He has started doing the cutest thing in the world to me. He'll sit in his playpen with his toys and he'll pick up one of his baby brushes. Somehow, he knows to used the bristle side down and will brush his own hair. It is so stinking cute and I can't help but laugh right out loud every time I see it. It must feel good.

We've started working on learning parts of the face. If I can get the little booger to pay attention to me, he'll actually point to my nose and my mouth. That's as far as we've gotten with multiple successes. Plus, I am afraid to have him try to point at my eyes... him grabbing my mouth with the little vice-grip hands is painful enough.

I can't believe how aware and autonomous he has gotten so fast. He is becoming fully aware of body parts and it's a little weird to me. I understand he is a boy and I understand that it is normal for him to realize he has a penis and to fiddle with it. I fully expected this. What I didn't expect was for him to be so aware of my boobs and want to fiddle with them. He hasn't breast fed since he was 3 months old, and I would assume that if he was still breast feeding, they wouldn't be strange to him and he would be comfortable with them but also I would be more comfortable with him in that area. We have been taking baths together since his was 2 weeks old, it's not like they just popped out of nowhere. I just find it a little strange that I all of a sudden, within the last week, have to wear a swimsuit with him when I bathe with him. Otherwise, he pays no attention to the bath, but to mommy's body, which due to his young age, he doesn't really understand "don't touch please, those aren't yours".

By the way, I don't think I have ever mentioned what a water baby I have. If the shower is running, he tries all he can to get into the water. The dogs' water dishes have to be put up because he'll splash in them until they are empty. When we take baths, he loves to lay on his stomach and swim back an forth and put his face in the water. He even blows bubbles under the water. I would be lying if I said his face in the water didn't make me nervous, but I guess I figure if I am in the tub with him watching over every second, there isn't much chance for something bad to happen. I can lay him on his back in the tub and he just lays back and relaxes. Even in the shower, he'll just cuddle up and relax. The water splashing in his face doesn't even faze him. He loves it. I can put water on his face and he just smiles and tries to lick it off.

Those are my latest updates. Nothing big and fancy, but he is getting big and for the most part, we are having fun.