Saturday, May 23, 2009

my best birth

This post, I'm embarrassed to say, is going to kind of show my OCD side.

With Linus, I figure that knowledge is power and so I read and researched about birth plans and options and figured that the more I knew, the less scared I was going to be about the impending birth. I was prepared, I was ready, and then... well... having a birth plan for me is ridiculous. Nothing ever goes as planned. Ever. My mom has sticky notes that say "want to make God laugh? make plans." That should be my disclaimer statement. I was induced because of possible IUGR and so everything that I wanted was thrown out the window.

This time around, I again, am reading things. I like to know my options. I came across a book called "Your Best Birth" co-written by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. Apparently, Ricki Lake did a documentary not too long ago called "The Business of Being Born" which cause quite a stir and caused a lot of problems between health professionals of all sorts, midwives, doulas, nurses, doctors, etc. I haven't seen the movie, so I can't state any of my opinions about it, but, this book was very interesting.

She is trying to promote knowledge among pregnant women, let them know of their options, and that way women can make a choice that is better for them and their birthing experience. Some women are perfectly fine going in, getting the IV, getting strapped in, tied up, drugged up, layed down, feeting in stirrups, and push. Those who are ok with that, that is fantastic! Especially since that is what you are mostly likely going to get when you go to the hospital.

I personally have no interest in home birth. It is so fascinating that some do that and I am in awe of those that can. I wish I felt that I had the inner strength to say, "I can do what is natural for my body. Let's get this done." But I don't. I also don't think that my husband has the strength to sit by and help and coach a home birth. He adamantly refuses to be part of that. Which, I reiterate is fine. I have seriously considered going to a birthing center. There is one close to St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City. I don't know their accreditations though and have not gone seeking much info on them. But, knowing how both my sisters were and how I was with Linus, I unfortunately am going to have another epidural. Most times, the epidural slows labor down. I think that maybe because our society is taught to fear the pain and what our bodies are doing in childbirth that we slow ourselves down. I am not afraid to have this baby, I am more afraid of the needles this time than anything. But, I do know there is a small percentage of women who actually respond to the epidural and I think that my sisters and I are part of that percentage. Again, who knows, it may be the huge fear factor that slows us down.

I talked to my doctor yesterday about Mackay-Dee Hospital. That is where I am delivering this time (unless of course there is a complication and LDS is 3 blocks away). I asked him if he had ever delivered with a woman using a birthing bar, what his thoughts were on the birthing ball, the water therapy, etc. He actually seemed non-plussed when I brought it up. He said he has most definitely caught babies from the birthing bar, with a follow up statement of "it's kind of like changing the oil in a car, but it's cool." I smiled pretty good at that. He said he has no qualms to doing any of the things I am hoping to do, but we both agreed that it may or may not happen and he just wanted to make sure that I was understanding things happen. "Oh, believe me... I don't expect to do any of this, I am just hopeful." We both laughed and finished up the appointment. He did give me a story of a girl who brings all of her friends and family to every appointment and gave him her birth plan the first appointment and told him under no circumstances is he to perform a cesarean on her. Bwhahahaha. I think we all know who is going to be getting one now. Poor thing, she is going to be so unhappy with the way things go because you can't really plan this sort of thing and how they will play out.

I really wish I could hire a doula to help Matt and I through this next birth, I think it would make things easier for both of us. Just someone who is my advocate but also knows what I need and can give my husband reassurances and a nudge in directions here and there. I would like to say that I am going to go in, walk around, listen to my body and what positions I need to be in to relieve pain and pressure, be relaxed and into myself, and have this baby naturally, but it may end up being just nothing like that at all.

I would like to recommend anyone having a baby who would like to know about their options, please check this book out. There were some startling statistics about this country's mortality rate that I won't quote. There were some great birthing stories. I do not at all feel bad at how my birth with Linus went other than I wish I hadn't taken the ambien they gave me. I feel like I was completely out of my mind and couldn't voice my opinion and I felt like I was completely out of control. I didn't like that, but otherwise, after 3 IV's and 3 epidural sticks, Linus and I both ended up healthy which is the most important.

I like listen to my friend's birth stories and I know how Miss H likes to do it... "I plan the induction. I am afraid to go into labor naturally so I go in, get the meds and get the epidural. I love it." I also know how Miss S did hypnobirthing. I know my sisters just go in and do what they are told and they are happy with the results. Miss N tried the Bradley method and it probably would have been a fabulous route for her and her husband, but I think she was suffering from IUGR where I was not and here baby was in distress and she had to go c-section. Not her choice, but she seems pretty please with her beautiful bundle of joy. I don't think any of these methods is wrong or right or whatever. I even had a friend who scheduled her c-section. I just figure that I know what I think is most comfortable and best for me and my baby and I know what I'd like to do... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll be a little more to my preference as opposed to my planning.


Emily said...

Thanks for the book review. I'm also looking into my options since I couldn't breath when I had the epidural inserted both times...not such a comforting feeling! Best of luck!

Ang said...

I don't believe we have chatted about delivery, I think we should. I have had two natural births, one with a useless lamaaze class and one with hypnobirthing (loved it). I am in your category of being a lot more terrified of needles in my spine than natural birth. I think you will get a kick out of 'momversation', an online video series from a bunch of mommy bloggers. They have one out on 'birth plans' that is pretty funny. I found that site from a blog that I read, . Let's talk soon.

Anna said...

I agree with you. All of my friends that I hang out with have had such different birth experiences. They have all been done by a doctor at a hospital. But some of us have only had c-sections, some "natural" only, and one that has had both.

My one friend had an epidural on her 2nd birth and had a massive headache for over a week from it. She went epidural free the next two and wouldn't go any other way.

My SIL had an epidural free last birth and liked it.

I went in with the idea that if I didn't feel I needed an epidural, then I wouldn't get one. But if I needed one, I would. After 14 hours of labor and nothing happening, I got an epidural and had a c-section a few hours later. (Which makes me glad of modern medicine, because the baby was not going to come out on his own, and without modern medicine, neither one of us might had made it through.)

Those of us who have had c-sections only can't imagine having a "natural" birth and have no idea what's it's like. Those who have had natural births think that a c-section sounds scary. The one that has had both a c-section and natural prefers c-section. But her c-section was an emergency (put them all the way under), and I can understand how that would be awful. At least with a regular c-section you aren't all groggy and missing out on the first cry stuff.

It's definately that knowledge is power. I think knowing and expecting that anything can happen is good. You can plan birth however you want, but you can't control it. Stick to your guns if things are going good, but be ready to do what needs to be done if thing aren't going right.

Hollie Wood said...

I am planning induction again. About a month ago I was seriously considering going natural. I kept thinking it could possibly be such a spiritual experience. To be in so much pain, to have the need to call on God to get me through it and feeling power from beyond my own to get that baby out and make it out alive. To feel that closeness to my Father, knowing I can't do it without Him. I still think a woman is "helped" through the birthing process even WITH drugs but I don't know...those were just my feelings. THEN I opened my mouth to my OB who is such a man of science! I asked him for his personal opinion about going natural and he said, "I wouldn't if it were me!" I said I figured since it was my last time, maybe I would try natural. He said, "Well, that's almost like saying, my whole life I've had Novacaine when I got a filling. Since this is the last time I'll have a cavity filled, I think I'd like to try it without Novacaine...why would you do that?!" Yeah, good point. I figured that would be his response! He's all about science. So I guess I will let science take it's course! :)

Mandy B said...

Emily, my sister tyne had the problem that she couldn't move her arms so she couldn't hold her baby when he was born. That's kind of scary.

Ang, we should talk about it, I can't believe we haven't yet. We do need to get together soon anyway.

Anna, I think I'd be ok with a c-section if that is what was needed to bring my baby to me healthy. I don't think I'd ever feel like some people do that they didn't get to "bond" or whatever. I am all for modern medicine to help me and help my baby. I'd be a little interested in VBAC, but that is kind of scary too, I'd have to research a little more. I'm just glad your kids were healthy and you are. 14 hours?? geez, that's a long time to find out you need a c-section. I think I'd just hate knowing about the recovery and having two littles at home would be difficult.

Holly, you are Miss H in this posting. LOL. I remember you telling me once you were terrified to go into labor naturally. If I didn't have such crappy luck with needles and their sticks, I'd probably go in for the induction and cruise on through. I seriously think I am way more scared of them messing up on me this time than the analogy of the novacain. I understand where your doctor is coming from though. I don't think you've ever had a problem with any of the meds though have you? Like I said, we'll see how it goes this time for me, and I may be begging for the pain meds before I even get in the door of the hospital. LOL. I'd like to say I'm tough enough.... but I'm pretty much a wuss. No matter how it happens, it is a pretty magical experience and I don't think any of you love your babies any less or more with how you had them. I do love hearing the different stories though, it's very interesting how things go.