Saturday, May 23, 2009
my best birth
This post, I'm embarrassed to say, is going to kind of show my OCD side.
With Linus, I figure that knowledge is power and so I read and researched about birth plans and options and figured that the more I knew, the less scared I was going to be about the impending birth. I was prepared, I was ready, and then... well... having a birth plan for me is ridiculous. Nothing ever goes as planned. Ever. My mom has sticky notes that say "want to make God laugh? make plans." That should be my disclaimer statement. I was induced because of possible IUGR and so everything that I wanted was thrown out the window.
This time around, I again, am reading things. I like to know my options. I came across a book called "Your Best Birth" co-written by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein. Apparently, Ricki Lake did a documentary not too long ago called "The Business of Being Born" which cause quite a stir and caused a lot of problems between health professionals of all sorts, midwives, doulas, nurses, doctors, etc. I haven't seen the movie, so I can't state any of my opinions about it, but, this book was very interesting.
She is trying to promote knowledge among pregnant women, let them know of their options, and that way women can make a choice that is better for them and their birthing experience. Some women are perfectly fine going in, getting the IV, getting strapped in, tied up, drugged up, layed down, feeting in stirrups, and push. Those who are ok with that, that is fantastic! Especially since that is what you are mostly likely going to get when you go to the hospital.
I personally have no interest in home birth. It is so fascinating that some do that and I am in awe of those that can. I wish I felt that I had the inner strength to say, "I can do what is natural for my body. Let's get this done." But I don't. I also don't think that my husband has the strength to sit by and help and coach a home birth. He adamantly refuses to be part of that. Which, I reiterate is fine. I have seriously considered going to a birthing center. There is one close to St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City. I don't know their accreditations though and have not gone seeking much info on them. But, knowing how both my sisters were and how I was with Linus, I unfortunately am going to have another epidural. Most times, the epidural slows labor down. I think that maybe because our society is taught to fear the pain and what our bodies are doing in childbirth that we slow ourselves down. I am not afraid to have this baby, I am more afraid of the needles this time than anything. But, I do know there is a small percentage of women who actually respond to the epidural and I think that my sisters and I are part of that percentage. Again, who knows, it may be the huge fear factor that slows us down.
I talked to my doctor yesterday about Mackay-Dee Hospital. That is where I am delivering this time (unless of course there is a complication and LDS is 3 blocks away). I asked him if he had ever delivered with a woman using a birthing bar, what his thoughts were on the birthing ball, the water therapy, etc. He actually seemed non-plussed when I brought it up. He said he has most definitely caught babies from the birthing bar, with a follow up statement of "it's kind of like changing the oil in a car, but it's cool." I smiled pretty good at that. He said he has no qualms to doing any of the things I am hoping to do, but we both agreed that it may or may not happen and he just wanted to make sure that I was understanding things happen. "Oh, believe me... I don't expect to do any of this, I am just hopeful." We both laughed and finished up the appointment. He did give me a story of a girl who brings all of her friends and family to every appointment and gave him her birth plan the first appointment and told him under no circumstances is he to perform a cesarean on her. Bwhahahaha. I think we all know who is going to be getting one now. Poor thing, she is going to be so unhappy with the way things go because you can't really plan this sort of thing and how they will play out.
I really wish I could hire a doula to help Matt and I through this next birth, I think it would make things easier for both of us. Just someone who is my advocate but also knows what I need and can give my husband reassurances and a nudge in directions here and there. I would like to say that I am going to go in, walk around, listen to my body and what positions I need to be in to relieve pain and pressure, be relaxed and into myself, and have this baby naturally, but it may end up being just nothing like that at all.
I would like to recommend anyone having a baby who would like to know about their options, please check this book out. There were some startling statistics about this country's mortality rate that I won't quote. There were some great birthing stories. I do not at all feel bad at how my birth with Linus went other than I wish I hadn't taken the ambien they gave me. I feel like I was completely out of my mind and couldn't voice my opinion and I felt like I was completely out of control. I didn't like that, but otherwise, after 3 IV's and 3 epidural sticks, Linus and I both ended up healthy which is the most important.
I like listen to my friend's birth stories and I know how Miss H likes to do it... "I plan the induction. I am afraid to go into labor naturally so I go in, get the meds and get the epidural. I love it." I also know how Miss S did it...by hypnobirthing. I know my sisters just go in and do what they are told and they are happy with the results. Miss N tried the Bradley method and it probably would have been a fabulous route for her and her husband, but I think she was suffering from IUGR where I was not and here baby was in distress and she had to go c-section. Not her choice, but she seems pretty please with her beautiful bundle of joy. I don't think any of these methods is wrong or right or whatever. I even had a friend who scheduled her c-section. I just figure that I know what I think is most comfortable and best for me and my baby and I know what I'd like to do... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll be a little more to my preference as opposed to my planning.