As some of you may know, my mom is the children's librarian at the Brigham City Library. And, as some of you may know, I love to read. When I say I love to read, I mean I am voracious. I even enjoy reading some text books. So....... this comes as a great combination. I find myself an author who I like and then read all of the books they have written. I will list my top favorite authors. -Stephen King -Dean Koontz -Jeffrey Deaver -Patricia Cornwell -Anne Rice -Sara Paretski -CS Lewis (the narnia collection) -JRR Tolkien -Janet Evanovich -LA Meyer -James Patterson
Those are the main ones that I own quite a few of and love to read and re-read over and over. The reason I own SO many books by just these few authors... I can't remember what I want when I get to the library (plus I can't remember to take them back and in SLC, the overdue fees are EXPENSIVE) and I hate to spend so much money on a book that I may or may not hate. I have the perfect solution... my mom reads all sorts of books and then passes them on to me! woohoo!
I just finished the latest book she gave me by a first time novelist named Kathryn Stockett named The Help. I loved it and couldn't put it down. It is about Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960's and 3 different women's perspective, 2 black and 1 white, in the writing of a book about black women's perspective in working for white families.
I know that the '60's aren't so long ago, but that time and in the South is such a foreign concept to me that it was such fiction. My family came from the South, but my Grandma and Grandpa's first house had a dirt floor and the water came from a well. I do know about the rules that women lived by: don't wear pants, it's trashy not to wear shoes, always have your hair and makeup done, etc. But I don't think I come from stock who had "help".
After taking a few college classes where we had a diversity section and then participating in a debate about Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "Letter from Prison", it gave me a better perspective on the fear and the social pitfalls that writing this book in the book would have for all of the women involved. I am so glad things are changing. Slowly, but surely, things are changing for women AND for those who are not white.
I just got back from the hospital not too long ago. I didn't even want to go. Bethany, you dish guilt like the best of the Jewish moms.
Little B has been very active this pregnancy. There are only a few times during a 24 hour period that she doesn't move. At night, when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning is one of those times. It is nice to lay there for a minute just to feel... well... nothing. I finally have to get up to pee or to get a drink or usually both. Not too long after that, she starts her wiggling again. It really is as if she is as uncomfortable as I am and just shifts to find a better position.
I woke up at 5am this morning and got up and got a big glass of orange juice. MMMMM. Laid back down and... nothing. No wiggle worms in my guts. That was a little disconcerting. When I got up with Linus around 8am, still, nothing. Just faint, very faint movements and not very many of them. This girl makes me think I am going to have a "Spaceballs" moment and an alien is going to jump out of my belly and start singing and dancing. So, this faint movement was not normal. I ate more today, drank more juice today, even chugged a soda trying to see if I could get her moving. Nothing. I took a bath which gets her going after and I took a shower. The water hitting my belly makes her kick back. Nothing. I mean, she was moving. I can usually just sit and look at my belly and count 10 movements in 5 minutes. Easy. I had to actually put my hand on my belly and it was 10 movements in 30-45 minutes. So, well within normal parameters, but not for my little girl.
I text my sister and asked if I should call my doc and she said that yes I should. I told her I felt stupid doing it. What if I drive all the way to Ogden to the hospital and it's nothing. I'm going to feel dumb. Her response, "You don't want to be responsible for your baby having cerebral palsy, brain damage, or even to die. You don't know what's going on. It's better to be safe than sorry." Nope, no guilt trip there. I called my doc's office and talked to one of the nurses. I explained that Little B was moving much more than the 10 per 2 hour timeframe, but it was a LOT less than normal. I also explained that I understand that babies have normal sleep and wake cycles by now, but really, she wasn't responding to anything. She told me to go on in to labor and delivery and they'd monitor to make sure everything was a-ok.
Called Matt, called my mom, called Matt's mom and headed to Ogden. Sigh. Why did I have to choose a hospital and doctor so far away? Oh ya, right, customer service.
Got to Ogden and it was a giant monsoon. I am pretty sure Linus and I almost got swept away trying to get into the women's center. I must say, the ladies at the women's center at Ogden Regional, nurses and others, were all very pleasant and nice to me. I could tell there was a little tension going on and that it had been a stressful day for a few of them, but I have to really give them props, not one of them took it out on the crazy lady who came in for monitoring with her 1 year old. =D Luckily my mom was there to help me out with Terrible #1. Especially with all of the electrical plugs and buttons to push, I needed the help with him.
My nurse got me situated and on the monitoring machine and gave me juice and water to drink to get her to perk up. I tried not to be a know it all and tell her that I'd already done that. I figured she was going by protocol and I just sat back and did what she asked. The heart rate sounded good. My blood pressure was a little high, but it has been most of this pregnancy. Higher than it was with Linus anyway and quite a bit higher than it usually is. I am not retaining any water at all though, and don't have any edema, so I think they ruled out toxemia pretty quickly. She got me to lay down on my left side and then left to monitor me. I ended up having a round ligament pain and couldn't breath real well. I have a hard time figuring out what to do to ease that pain. It's pretty much like a charley horse in my lower abdomen and it just gets worse and worse until I find a position that eases it. Right now, I can just roll over off my bed onto the floor and get onto all fours till it passes. Not in a hospital bed. After what felt like forever, it finally eased down and I sat back for the 30 minute monitoring period.
The nurse came back and reassured us all that everything was fine. Now came for the part to make me feel like a complete idiot for going in. I got the lecture about how when babies get a little bit bigger, they run out of room and so the movements are going to get less. I just nodded my head and said yes ma'am, but #1 I'm not so stupid that I couldn't figure that out even if I wasn't reading it everywhere. #2 Linus's movements changed but didn't get any less. He was just as active at 38 weeks as he was at 20. Then she gave me the lecture about what real labor is vs false labor. I tried to explain that I never did think I was in labor, I just went in on the advice of the doctor's nurse. I still got that lecture 3 times though. I understand, I pretty much wasted my time, and she did reassure me that it's better to be safe than sorry, so I did appreciate that. She gave me the number to labor and deliver so I could call them directly and they could tell me if they wanted me in or not.
So, all in all, everything is fine. I had my first panic mom moment which is pretty good considering I have a 14 month old also. (I actually had a panic mom moment which I shared with Matt, and almost went to the ER for, but it turned out to be a hickey Linus had given himself)
Although I am done being pregnant, my belly skin is going numb from the stretching, and I don't think I can stretch anymore, I am glad that everything is ok and B can cook in the oven for a little longer. As much as I talk that she can come now, I really would rather her be safe and healthy. I don't want to have to deal with NICU's or incubators and would like to take her home with me when I go.
I've lost the cord to my camera to plug it in to power up and it doesn't take regular batteries, so I don't know how long I'll be without pictures. (Maybe I can talk Matt into buying me a push present and having it be a camera. hmmm)
I am lately really wishing I was living in a reality tv house so I could have a 3rd person to take pictures of some family times.
Mornings are actually turning into a very cherished time for me with my family. I have been getting up around 5am for pregnancy potty break and Linus then wakes up around 6am for his diaper change and some milk. He'll hang out in his crib until close to 745 when Matt's alarm goes off. Almost every morning, Matt turns on his iphone music, gets Linus out of bed, changes him, then hangs out with him while getting ready for the day. They dance in the bathroom together, usually to something I wouldn't imagine my kid enjoying... Lady Gaga, Pantera, Daft Punk. Matt chases him around the bedroom a little. Linus comes up to me while I'm laying half dazed to give me a slimey, open mouthed kiss and then goes back to playing with Dad. He's started to get very upset when Dad has to leave for work. My favorite though, was the day he gave me my first "real" baby kiss while Matt was holding him. Matt handed him off to me and he had a very confused look on his face. I guess he thought I was going to work that day and he was sending me off.
At the end of the day when Dad gets home, they play together. We cuddle on the bed together, play chase, I usually lay down for a second finally and watch them. The other day, we got the peacock feathers out and tickled each other with them. Of course, Mom and Dad's feathers were better so we had to keep trading off and then Linus would break them.
I love to see how much Linus loves his dad. Me? Not so much. I am the person he sees all day everyday who has had to start discipline. I think we get pretty bored of each other.
We have started to watch Sesame Street together and I love watching him watch it. He is SO enthralled with it. He grins and laughs and as soon as the music starts he starts dancing and clapping.
Recently, he has started to throw temper tantrums. He's been having quite a few meltdowns. It's very interesting to see how he has a little bit of his dad's laidback quality and my stubborn streak. It's been frustrating for me because he isn't talking and he isn't quite old enough to understand when I try to reason with him. It usually involves him trying to plug something in, playing with one of our phones, playing with the ipod, or anything else he really shouldn't be playing with. I try to let him explore, but it's difficult when he ends up dialing 911 or drools so much that the electronics go on the fritz. The best thing though, is he has lately been taking my phone and he'll scamper off to a corner behind a chair or he'll hide behind something so he can play and not have it taken away. Little Stinker! He has even started trying to hide my phone behind his back while walking away so I can't see it. Is this normal for a one year old?
As soon as I get my camera I'll post some pics of my baby getting bigger and some pics of the other baby getting bigger. Crazy days.
Oh, I almost forgot, the bad. I do have a picture of one of these, but I don't think anyone really wants to see it so I'll let you use your imagination on these. My disclaimer... this is about bodily functions like poo and vomit. I CAN NOT believe how much poop comes out of a kid! I don't think he even eats that much!!
One day last week, Matt left for the evening with a few of his friends to take the cement mixer (that hasn't really ever run, has been sitting in my backyard for almost a year, and has been collecting huge spiders) back to the guy who owns it in Ogden. I am not sure why it occurred to me that he'd be back home at a reasonable time, it's not like they don't sit and chitchat for hours upon hours at a time (visualize the eyeroll). Anyway, I decide to give Linus his bath. My bathtub is raised up with 5 inch tiles around the front so it's not like a skinny bathtub rim. It also stands about 2 feet tall and it's a BIG jetted tub. Keep this in mind and also keep in mind that it has gotten to the point that it takes an act of God just to be able for me to bend over to take the plastic plug out to drain it without getting in. Ok scenario set. I'm playing with Linus and he started to zone out. I figured it was because he was tired... ya right. He blinked and looked down and managed to grab a small yellowish green object that floated to the top of the water and put it in his mouth. AAAAAAHHHH! STOP! I realized he had just pooped in the tub and it wasn't very solid pellet like. So, I grabbed a glass nearby to scoop what I could out, pulled the plug out of the tub, and then threw up. There is something completely different about poop in water than poop in a diaper. I couldn't take Linus out of the tub because he was covered in feces, I didn't want it all over my bathroom, I tried to keep him from eating it, while still throwing up. He got in the tub about 8pm and I know this because I have been having very strong Braxton Hicks and the doc wants me to time them. In the hour between 8pm and 9pm I was dealing with this and have a contraction once every 10 minutes. Sigh. It's not like it's labor contractions, but they are strong and very hard and I feel like my gut is about to explode. So, Linus started to freak out about the tub water running (?) I don't know why and I decided to put him in the shower with me. He is getting too big to hold in the shower and I am getting to fat to hold him against me, so I figured I'd let him stand up while I soaped him off. My shower is too small and I am, again, too big to bend over to soap him off so I decided to sit down in the bottom of the shower. Guess who couldn't get up off the floor of the shower? Ya, you guessed it, me. That's who. So, we sat in the shower for 20+ minutes playing and in my convoluted mind, Matt should be home any minute, he's been gone for 3 hours, it's just to Ogden. Any. Minute. But no, it didn't happen. I finally managed to roll myself out of the shower and got Linus to bed. Deep Breath. I called Matt asking if he'd pick up milk on the way home and managed to refrain from sobbing at him that he IS NOT under any uncertain terms allowed out of the house in the evenings ever again until Little B gets here. I ended up just crying and then went to bed. He at least was sympathetic. A little.
Last Wednesday, Matt worked late, so I decided... I'll attempt to give Linus a bath. No way we could have that same night happen again. I was right. It was easy, breezy, and he went right to bed. I finally got in the tub for my evening bath to help relax my back. The water was going and I started to take my vitamins. The fish oil went down with no problem. The multivitamin...uh oh... it got stuck in my throat and the coke I was drinking started to super foam up. Next thing I know, I'm starting to throw up... GET UP... Run to the toilet... don't slip on the tile...Oh, what a mess! It ended up becoming a stomach evacuation extravaganza. Anyone reading this ever been 8 months pregnant and have violent vomiting? There is something to be said for having to use your super stretched core muscles and round ligament pain starts and it's still coming. I took a shower to wash off and immediately went to bed. That takes a lot out of someone. The next day, I was putting my makeup on and noticed the awesome purple spots where I'd broken some capillaries. I might go back to the Flinstones vitamins.
Thursday, do I dare bath time again?? Yes, he needs to be bathed. All went well and I was thankful he waited until I had drained the tub before gracing me with his new tub trademark. Then, Friday, I took a shower and he enjoys showers so much, I figured he could hang out on the floor. Maybe it's the water that stimulates his colon. I don't know, but I have never dealt with so much poop in my life. Matt just laughs. At least he's supportive of me and doesn't laugh at me to my face when I cry. =) I'm so excited to do this again =/ At least I won't be pregnant this next toddler go-round.
I love being a parent. I never thought I'd like it, let alone love it. But I am finding that I enjoy it more and more every day. I am not sure that I like being the mom as much... =)
At first, I hated being the mom. I hated that regardless of there being two parents, I felt I was the one that sacrificed myself the most. I sacrificed my body for 9 months, my boobs as long as I could breastfeed, and my time and interests. At the time I felt that dad got to go to work, come home and cuddle him, and then go off and do whatever it was that he wanted to do. I understand now, that in my poor postpartum status, I didn't really see the sacrifices that dad made too. It wasn't that he didn't want to hang out and take Linus for me and give me breaks away, he really was so busy getting our house livable and trying to make a living to keep our roof over our heads that he didn't get to see the baby as often as he wanted to. I am sure that it didn't help that we were all up at all hours of the night, me taking care of baby and Matt taking care of me.
I did feel a resentful, and still do just a little, that he is able to go out more than I am. I am learning to accept a few things about that situation. Not only does he have more friends than I do, he has more single friends. That first and foremost is why he goes out more. His friends are great and do invite me instead of him, but I feel I have my hot baths and my books to escape, he has his friends, so he kind of deserves to go instead of me. He works SO HARD not only at work to keep us in food and a roof over our heads, but he works dang hard at home to repair everything and keep it livable. He has done so much to the electrical, the basement, the yard, the cars, etc. And if it isn't one thing it's another. I think I feel just a little resentful because being pregnant means your body isn't yours for 9 months. It is all about the baby. It takes over, weight gain, I feel like I have a planet getting ready to mitosis out of my body and start orbiting. It moves on it's own accord and doesn't move with me when I walk. I have to eat healthy, I have to avoid certain things like sushi and deli meats, I can't partake of a beer if I feel I want one after a really hard day or just when ever, I can't do anything without thinking of my baby first. Matt gets to do whatever he wants to relax and unwind. If he wants to have a beer, well, he can. Or two or three or a dozen. It doesn't matter. It's hard having people over at all hours because I can't stay awake. He can have friends over and chill till the wee hours. It's just hard knowing that I don't get an outlet for relaxation and the only one I really want right now, I can't afford (prenatal massages are expensive.)
So, this past weekend, Matt talked to me about going to see a movie we have both been wanting to see. He took it upon himself to find a babysitter, which is usually my job, and found it to be a daunting task. Needless to say, I didn't get to see the movie this weekend. Matt on the other hand liked it. I tried really hard not to feel bad about it and only for maybe a half hour did I feel bad. I got over it pretty quick and reminded myself all of the things I am grateful for regarding Matt and that he deserves some time off with the boys without wifey-poo right there. We used to be friends and hang out, now we are married and are together all of the time. It's good to have a break.
So, cause I'm the mom, I stay at home with Linus, I take him with me everywhere I go, and I'm starting to get used to it, be ok with it, and even like it. It's a good thing, Little B will be here shortly.
Hey all, I have a friend who makes super cute baby gifts. She is hosting a giveaway and I'd love it if one of my friends won. (We all know someone having a baby. The gift could be used by everyone.) Anyway, here is the link to her site. http://anaheragifts.blogspot.com/
Check it out. She gave me a diaper cake for Linus's baby shower and it came with a bear which he still loves and loves to cuddle with. And I so loved having all of those diapers.
Ok, so being married is really strange some days. Today I am going to chalk it up to having been up since 4am, no nap, running around, and being pregnant exhausted.
Not too long ago, my husband, being funny, told me to "scoot over fatty". I acted offended, we laughed, and it's funny. It was met with a better reaction than last pregnancy when he offered up that my rear was getting a little large.
So, tonight, I was told "you are so weird looking..."
Um...how am I supposed to respond to that one? LOL. He middled that statement with "cause you are so skinny..."
Um... really? Who gets told they are weird looking cause they are skinny unless they are weird anorexic? He finished off the statement with "and you have this belly just sticking out there."
Oh. So let me explain this a little bit. I am the amazing, shrinking, pregnant woman. I am the pregnant lady most women hate. I don't swell, I don't get fat, I don't get stretch marks (yet), I keep my waistline, and slowly grow a little baby. I don't feel this is something to brag about. I feel weird and different. My rings don't fit. I don't fit into my regular pants, but I don't really fit into maternity pants. My mom tells me I look like I have a pillow stuffed up my shirt. I feel terribly cramped pretty much from week 20 on since there is no "belly" for the baby to fit into. This pregnancy, I feel as though Little B has sucked the life right out of me. Literally. I know I'm not losing muscle, what with lugging a 20lbs. kid around, walking my dog in the Aves, going up and down stairs, and doing yoga. So, gaining only 10 pounds is weird to me. Let me assure you ladies out there... I will gain all of my weight once the baby is born. I gained all my weight after Linus was born, I am pretty sure I will gain all of my weight once Little B is born. I don't enjoy the almost constant migraine status that has happened in the last 2 weeks nor the morning sickness like vomiting that happens in the 3rd trimester. But, I do need to throw out there that I have enjoyed this one so much more than Linus. It's a lot more special now that I know what is growing and the joy and love I will have for this baby. Linus has been amazing.
After being told I am weird looking, I was mentioning that my niece is a nag. She has managed to inherit all of the irritating girl traits. She nags, is concerned about her hair and makeup, does the princess above and beyond, she gossips, she is loud, and through all of this I think she's a doll but not sure I could deal with it as well as Bethany does. So, Matt tells me that this means she is probably going to be really cute when she gets older...
Does that mean that I am not cute? Or does that mean that I am annoying? This poor guy and having to deal with my sensitive ego right now. He responded with a "I cannot answer that at this time."
Lucky for the both of us, I am almost done and can be sensitive once a month again instead of crying watching dances on "so you think you can dance" and videos my mom sends me via email.
Let's see what else my, oh so very male, husband comes up with. It's always good for a laugh in retrospect. Like the day he told me he didn't understand pets... He doesn't get that much out of his human relationships. I took it WAY different than he meant it and I cried and got mad and he pretty much just stared at me until he could explain that he meant he needs a reciprocative relationship and pets just don't do that. =)
My friend Miss A, her two kids, her two dogs, Linus, Moxie and I went to the dog park at the mouth of emmigration canyon yesterday. I had completely forgotten having seen this park and I'm glad that Miss A suggested it. I figured I'd get a head start, knowing how I run into small detours anytime I go anywhere. I stopped off to get me a slurpee (highly important) and a gallon of water and then stopped to get gas. After getting gas, I put Linus in his carseat and from the time I walked to the driver side, he had choked on his apple juice and there was milk throw-up all down the front of him... ew... gross!!! I cleaned it up, took his shirt off and we were on our way.
We got to the park and there is a huge, grassy area and a small pond with a stream at the head and a cement spillway at the foot. About 3 guys were standing around the cement walkway to overlook the pond with sticks sticking it under the cement. I couldn't figure out what they were doing until I heard a rattle. There was a huge rattlesnake under the cement and these guys were trying to kill it before a dog or owner got bitten. Now, I have never seen a rattlesnake in real life in the wild, let alone one whose girth was bigger around than my arm! It was huge. It was cool. I don't know know if they killed it or not, I hope not and I hope it relocated somewhere safer for everyone.
Moxie watched all of the dogs jumping into the pond to chase their sticks or tennis balls, so she decided she needed to join in. What a treat for both of us I think. There is about a foot of shallow and then drastically drops off. She took off into the water and lo and behold she was swimming for the first time! All of the other owners with labs and the like laughed and laughed at her clumsy first attempt. The baptism by fire must not have been so bad, she ended up hanging out in the water quite a bit.
We all hung out under a huge, cool tree in the shade for a while, and Moxie doesn't usually do this other than our yard, but she decided she needed to have a BM. Oh great. Luckily, Miss A had some doggie bags and it was a freaking two bagger. My stomach is seriously more like I am in my first trimester, so unfortunately, even though I was a responsible dog owner, there was almond Snickers bar regurgitated on the grass. Meh.
Miss A's little boy wanted to go watch the dogs in the water, so we took off and on the east end, there was a little path so we could get down to the gravelly shallow clean area. I can't keep Linus away from the water, so I figured, "whatever, go for it, it's just water. =)" The kids played for quite a while and we had a great time... until somebody's dog came up to sniff Miss A and she was able to figure out what this dog was doing and pushed it away before it peed on her! bwahahahah! I have never heard of a dog peeing on someone other than George peeing on Matt. It was just plain weird but gave me quite a chuckle.
The kids were cold, Linus was shivering, and we decided that it was time to go back to the grassy, shady area. We got up there and I took Linus's wet clothes off of him and took his soaking wet, huge diaper off... and was met with a poopy diaper. Ugh. Upon looking, not only had I used ALL of my wipes, I had no more diapers. So.... Linus hung out at the park naked for the remainder of the day. =D For those of you who are weird about baby nudity, I blurred out his privates, but below is a pic of my cute little guy chilling with his juice and blankey on the grass.
We played at the park for about 3 hours and it was GREAT!!! The people there are very nice, not "uppity" like they sometimes can be in the avenues dog park and the dogs were WAY better behaved than the ones in the avenues. Not one dog got nippy and that is so great with my huge puppy who tends to be very "in your face" since she still is a puppy.
We got home and later that night, Moxie was limping. I looked at the paw and she had cut open her pad on the two middle toes. It wasn't bleeding, and it seemed clean, so I put neosporin on it. Later, I realized she was favoring most of her legs and every foot has a gashed pad! I don't know what she got into or if it's just that she had so much room to run she got going too fast and then in stopping ripped them. Not sure, but my poor, poor puppy! She hasn't gotten off the couch hardly at all ALL day! That is not like her. I read online to put socks on her feet to help protect them and so she is all neosporinned up and socks on her hind legs which are the worst and I am hoping it heals ok. I had a dog in the past who stepped on glass and the vet said that suturing wouldn't do any good and too keep an eye out for infection, so, that's what I'll do. In the meantime, I hate seeing her have such a hard time. I am such a lame dog mom! =)
Anyway, I am so glad that others get to share my days that are full of ridiculous moments and moments that make me giggle. I am very glad that my life has been like that for so long, I can't get flustered or angry or frazzled when one thing after another happens. I have learned to go with the flow. I am also glad I got another picture to show Linus's girlfriends when he gets older and that he'll hate me for.
