My side

Before Matt and I started to date, I made a few visits to his condo. He had done a lot of work on the parts that everyone sees, but his bedroom was very stark. There was a small, twin mattress on the floor. Not too long after we started dating, I made the announcement that I hated the mattress and would not be staying over. Make whatever conjecture you'd like about that statement, you are probably right, but for the sake of my children reading this in the future... well, no details.  I just figure that a man has every right to try to stake claims on a woman he has been in love with since he was 15 years old. This isn't what we were taught by our parents, it isn't what we were taught by our church, it isn't what we were taught period, but who am I to say what is ok in the eyes of our Lord, Jesus Christ in the year of 2007 what may have been preordained in the eyes of our Lord, Jesus Christ in the year 1978 and 1979 when we were both born. Soul Mates? Lame humans who make up their own rules? Who knows? No lectures please, we were almost 30 years old for pete's sake... I digress...


Pretty soon, my future husband bought a beautiful sleigh bed and a brand new, queen sized, oh so comfortable mattress. I would like to say that was the adult version of "will you go steady with me." I chose the right side and we got married soon after. 


I stayed on the right side until I got pregnant with Linus and switched to the left side of the bed. That would be the left and right side as you are laying down. I was so sick with Linus that I switched so I could be right under the window, I could learn to lay on my left side and not have to re-breathe air. Weird right? Those of you who have been pregnant... you know what I'm talking about. It may have been 20 degrees outside, but that was 20 degrees too warm and heaven forbid you add some carbon dioxide to the mix of the father of your baby. Then add the 15 pillows to support my ever growing, ever uncomfortable body. It soon became "my bed" and I'll let you lay on a corner. If you are lucky. Don't breathe on me.

We moved into our new apartment, we moved into our new house, we moved the bed to a different spot in the new house and I don't know what forces compel me to sleep on one side of the bed or the other, but it changes in regards to where the bed is placed. Maybe it's a long lost, passed from generation to generation, best possible direction to promote healthy baby growth if your body is facing due north-northeast kind of thing. I do know that the comfort of my 15 pillows didn't get a chance to go by the wayside before I got pregnant with Beatrice.

Quick, I know. I find the lack of sleep to be a type of "baby hell" and wanted to be finished as soon as possible. Even though I enjoy and love my babies more and more every day. It doesn't make me less of a hag when I get too little sleep. I just am learning how to keep the hag under wraps in front of the kids better and better... again... I digress.

So, in order for my husband, the love of my life, to get to share a bed with me, the ever growing, ever uncomfortable, ever increasing hag. He did the next best thing to getting a vasectomy (just kidding. kind of). He went and got a king sized bed. And he lugged the dang thing upstairs. And he bought a memory foam topper for it. I kind of think he likes me.

I have since then had my baby. She slept with us for a bit and is now on her own. Linus sleeps in his own bed and I have a freaking King size mattress to myself most days. Or a sofa. We've gotten to that place in our married, child filled, sleep deprived life that one of us inevitable either falls asleep on the couch, or ends up moving to the couch to put Bea in her swing at 4am so one of us can continue sleeping.

No, I don't usually let my baby sleep in a swing, but 2-4 times a week, 4am is her wakeup time and that's just too flipping early for me, so too the swing she goes to coo and giggle and entertain herself until 7am when Linus gets up.

It just makes me laugh that even now, with our king sized bed that would fit both of us, both kids, and all 3 dogs, it is usually just one of us sleeping in this behemoth. I take my little space or he takes his little space (except for the days he spreads from corner to corner to be funny) and leave the rest open. It's mostly because I have been pregnant and married longer than not pregnant and married. I still catch myself waking up and thinking...

DON'T BREATHE ON ME!!!

That goes away right?