Linus pics and video

 I apologize that these videos are sideways it was on my phone, I am not much of a video taker, nor was it the best of circumstances. Regardless of the circumstances, he has received his pain shot and this was too cute to not record. 

Sleeping on the way home. Thank God for modern medicine. Four hour ride home.

Poor kid with his "boxing gloves".

Grumpy drugged up kid.

Knee one week later.

Palm, pointer finger, thumb one week later.

Wrist, palm, thumb, fingertip one week later. You can see the little tiny blisters all over .

Linus aiming his new nerf gun the day after his birthday. All healed but a few spots. Not too bad a week later.

And a bit of fun and cute to end the picture post.

P.S.- He is 3 weeks healed. Is doing amazing and still just has a few scabs. His new skin is pink and very "newborn"-ish. The best therapy I've found for him is to make him give me knuckles and then a high five. Both hands alternating. And to have his hands spread as far and wide as he can to trace them. That's one of his favorite things. Hooray for fun therapy!

I have a dream

Since becoming a parent, I have taken more of a notice of the news, blogs, friends' accounts of things and I have a dream.

I read a blog where one woman lost her baby to SIDS. I just found out that my husband's aunt lost her baby at 10 months old. Watching the news, there are accounts of children dying everyday. A couple I knew in High School just spend too long in Primary Children's Hospital dealing with their daughter who had a brain tumor and there were moments where they weren't sure she'd make it. I read another blog where his daughter was born with a birth defect and wasn't expected to live and, against all odds, is now home and they are just biding their time before she leaves them.

Every day, I hear about a loss that every parent dreads. And I wonder how the nameless, faceless families pay for this.

Matt commented that before people moved across the state, country, or world to live, there were better support systems. Now, there just isn't that support system for a lot of families.

I want to start a foundation called "Angels Returned".

There are so many tragedies that families get bank accounts set up for them. The community really helps out either because it is such a heinous event or because they are more well known in their community. Which is so great for those families. But what about the ones whose children are dying from sicknesses? Whose SIDS babies aren't mentioned in the news? The families don't go to church?

I can't even imagine having to deal with losing my child and then having to pay for a funeral. There are always so many medical expenses accrued. Regardless of how the child died, they end up in the hospital. Or maybe they've been in the hospital for a while. No matter how a child dies, I want to start a foundation to pay for the final expenses of a funeral.

My dream would allow all hospitals to give families the number so we could pay for the funeral of all children 18 and younger. No matter the reason, be it suicide, cancer, accident of any kind, SIDS, still births, birth defects, tragedy of any kind. Just because a family knows a child may die from a birth defect or sickness and they have a little more time to deal with the grieving process doesn't make it any easier than those who suddenly lose a child. Not that I know, but I can only think a child lost is a child lost.

I have no idea how to start something like this. I am pretty sure that this thought is WAY over my head.

This is the stuff that runs through my head at night and why I can't sleep. Why does one child's tragedy and untimely death deem more importance than another? Just because the family are immigrants the child isn't as important? Because it was from "natural" causes it's not as important and the family doesn't need the help?

I know from watching my husband's grandparents burying their child who was in her 50's, that no matter the age of the child, to bury your child is unnatural and is devastating. Who needs to add the cost of a funeral and planning the danged thing to the mix?

So...I have a dream. I'd like to try to make those last decisions that some families have to make a lot less difficult. Take away the money issues. Let them know that it is taken care of. Be together with the rest of you family and love them. I want to ease the pain of the survivors of child death.

Normal 24 hours

I just wonder some days if my days are more ridiculous than most deal with.

My day ended at 12ish midnight-ish. I am convinced it isn't insomnia my husband suffers from but a lack of being able to turn his head off and he was oh so very nice to pass that on to me.

I was awakened at 2ish due to what I can only name as Linus having a night terror. He on occasion just wakes up screaming. He doesn't want to be touched, doesn't want to be held, doesn't want to be in bed, doesn't want to be out of bed, doesn't want a diaper change, doesn't want a drink, nothing calms him down. Matt wasn't having any success, so he came and got me. Because he does have to go to work in the morning, I told him to go on to bed and I'd try to figure Linus out and get him settled. I laid him next to me on our twin bed/makeshift sofa and he cuddled right in and fell asleep.

I was again awakened at 5am from a foot placed not so gently on my face as Linus shifted. So I figured I could put him to bed.

I checked my alarm which I had set earlier in the evening to make sure it was going to go off as I had an appointment at 7:30. I woke up again about 10 minutes before the alarm was supposed to go off and figured I'd just lay there for a minute.

The alarm didn't go off.

My phone has an alarm set up for dummies. Who are drunk. And incapacitated in every other way imaginable. It's fool proof. It's so simple, I am pretty sure my baby girl could set it. And I messed the thing up!

BAH!!

So, I jumped out of bed at 7am, did a quick body shower, brush teeth, wipe face, run out the door, oh wait Bea is up, get her a bottle, put her in bed with Matt, and then really run out the door. I rushed to Primary Children's Hospital for the appointment and barely made it on time. Whew.

I was a little frazzled about this because of the nature of my visit. I work for a Doctor who is participating in a trial study for Type 1 diabetes. Family members come in and we are checking to see if they have auto-antibodies that might cause them to develop Type 1 diabetes. It's so important to get as many samples as we can and I think it's important for parents to be informed as much as possible. One family member in particular was in a situation that the mother really wanted her to be part of the study, but she is of a decreased mental status and medical scenarios cause severe anxiety. I was allowed to go to the hospital where they had her sedated for a different procedure and we were able to get a sample this way. It was so so great the mother and the hospital allowed us to do this.

And they were a half hour late.

It's not a normal scenario for me, for one, and then I was thinking I was going to be late because I am too dumb to work a dumbed down alarm clock.

Things did work out for the best, I got to sit and play with this little girl for a minute and it was fun for me AND I didn't have to stick her, the IV team did that. Not a bad deal huh?

So, I got home and for some reason, my eyes where just so heavy I just couldn't keep them open. Oh ya, I'd been up and down all night. I forgot. So I figured I'd get Bea down for her nap, Linus situated on our couch/bed to watch a movie, and I'd nap for a half hour.

2 hours later, we all woke up at the same time. Sigh. How do you ladies out there deal with the lack of sleep? I was afraid to drive! It's even worse now that I am on a hormone free birth control and my PMS is worse. Ya, that would be this week.

So, not only am I stuck in slow mo. I am exhausted, I am starving, I am so irritable I can't even stand to be in my own skin. And I am dealing with a 2 year old and an 8 month old going on 2.

So, I spent the next 3 hours trying to get us both ready. Bea is so interested in what is going on that I can't just put a bottle in her mouth and move on to the next thing. Linus doesn't want her playing with anything, she wants to play with everything, and OH THE WORLD JUST ENDED!!! Bea is touching his blanket! Then he wants to cuddle her and he lays on top of her and does his crocodile death roll. He manages to roll over in place and she's not much of a fan. So I am constantly picking her up to bring her back to me, "Linus quit laying on your sister!", "Linus, please don't put things in her face", "SERIOUSLY QUIT LAYING ON YOUR SISTER!!", "Bea, come here! Don't put that in your mouth! Where did you get that?!" And so on. Then there are diapers. The tantrums. My decreased mental status because I am having PMS. I am running up the stairs 15 times because I keep forgetting something.

3 HOURS LATER!! AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO SHOWER!!

I don't deal with distractions when I am tired.

I still had to run and process that sample of blood for testing so I was running out the door. Again. On my way out, I figured I'd make Bea a bottle to go, Linus pulled on me and my hand couldn't get out in time and I ended up dumping the whole can of formula on the floor. And I left it.

So, my poor husband came home to no dishes having been done, formula all over the floor, I haven't put any laundry away, the recycle can is overflowing, there are toys and books and clothes all over the floor. And I've been home most of the day. WTF have I been doing all day?

Oh, and the best part is that Saturday to Sunday, Matt's mom and dad watched the kids. Apparently they inherited my sister's inability to poop not at home. Neither one of them did the whole time they were at Grandma and Grandpa's house. But starting Monday morning, all day, every diaper. Gross.

AND I am the biggest jerk of a mom. Linus loves to walk around the block, and normally I am all for it. So we got going. I carried Bea and Linus walked. We got up a block and got to the middle of the next block and he wouldn't go any more. He wanted me to carry him. I made him walk home because I am not going to carry 50 pounds of babies down the hill. We got home and realized he was walking funny. So.... he had been drinking a lot of orange juice and he had diarrhea and I couldn't smell it and it ran down his leg and burned both legs. So, me being the jerk that I am, made him walk home and cause it to hurt that much more. I felt so so bad! I couldn't even get him to shower. So, I let him run around naked the rest of Monday.

Anyway, jumping back to Tuesday, Linus didn't want to wear his clothes because of his owies. So we fought over that, we fought over what he was going to drink, what he was going to eat, that it was time to come inside so we could get ready to go. He pushes his boundaries every chance he gets. And he's so little, I keep thinking he doesn't know better, but he does. He understands exactly what I am saying. And he proves it every time he gives me a sideways glance to see if I'm still watching and he STILL tries to do what I've asked him not to do. Like laying on his sister.

After processing the sample, I still had to run to Brigham. I wasn't able to get 1/16 of the things done that I needed.

I got home at 11pm and decided I needed to run around the block a couple of times and hopefully that would turn my mind off a little bit. I am not one who gets energized by excercise, it just makes me want to sleep. So, day 1 of running, 0.83 miles in 7 minutes. It's crap but keep in mind I don't run. and two blocks were uphill. I was pretty proud of myself.

Oh, I also had to buy crickets to feed the spiders and figured I'd feed the hedgehog. I watched her a minute. Finally went to be by 12:40 only to start the next day at 6:00am.

And I don't think I got anything done.

But it sure is fun to play with the kids. And this isn't even one of my more strange days.

Pretty done

Ok, Universe? God? Whoever is up there? No more funerals for a little while ok?

I know that this one was looming on the horizon, then it wasn't, then boom! It hit.

So I had a long old post writing about the whole thing and then just kind of realized, it wasn't my story to tell. She a very nice lady and I liked her a lot. But she isn't my family per se. So, really... this is what I have to say...

Tami Ann Hadfield Beagley,

You had inner demons that you fought. They were not a secret in the family. You tried, you worked to get better, you would be on  your own, and you would fall. Your parents were amazing. They loved you unconditionally and did everything they could to help you. All they wanted was for you to be better.

Not long before you died, it was mentioned to us that you had said, "All I want is to be HAPPY."

For some people they wouldn't understand. For some others, we understand that it's a battle.

Pretty soon, you got sick, we didn't think you'd be coming back. Yet, defying all odds, you did. I hope that you coming back, lucid, and with no brain damage served what I think it did. I kind of see it that you were able to finally part ways with your daughters on better terms that you would have otherwise. Then, you just died. Poof. Just like that. It really threw us all for a loop and left everyone in a state of shock.

I, personally, did not get to know you as well as I'd have liked. I really liked you and certainly brought my love for you when Matt's family became mine.

So, I hope that you have found your peace, your happiness, and you are once again spending time with your son whom you lost too soon.

Love, Amanda

Rest In Peace Tami
March 20, 1958- June 3, 2101

Random Strangeness

I was surfing the other day.

The internet. Not the Ocean.

Anyway, I found these random strange laws. They make me giggle. So I thought I'd share. I did copy and paste from the site and so I hope they are all there and all together... enjoy. I certainly did.


Alabama
It’s illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

Alaska
Whispering in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting is prohibited.

Arizona
Cutting down a cactus may earn you a twenty-five-year prison term.

Arkansas
It’s illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.

California
You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.

Colorado
It’s unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor (Denver).

Connecticut
A pickle cannot actually be a pickle unless it bounces.

Delaware
It’s illegal to get married on a dare.

Washington, D.C.
It’s against the law to post a public notice calling someone a coward for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.

Florida
If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.

Georgia
It’s illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades first.

Hawaii
All residents may be fined for not owning a boat.

Idaho
A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing fewer than fifty pounds.

Illinois
It’s illegal to take a French poodle to the opera (Chicago).

Indiana
The value of pi is 4, and not 3.1415.

Iowa
One-armed piano players must perform for free.

Kansas
It’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits (Natoma).


Kentucky
Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year.

Louisiana
Biting someone with your natural teeth constitutes simple assault, but biting someone with your false teeth classifies as aggravated assault.

Maine
If you keep your Christmas decorations on display after January 14, you’ll be fined.

Maryland
It’s against the law to wash or scrub a sink, no matter how dirty it is (Baltimore).

Massachusetts
No gorilla is allowed in the backseat of any car.

Michigan
A woman may not cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

Minnesota
It’s illegal to paint a sparrow with the intent of selling it as a parakeet (Harper Woods).

Mississippi
Walking a dog without dressing it in diapers is forbidden (Temperance).

Missouri
Children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, but not toy cap guns.

Montana
It’s a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.

Nebraska
Bar owners may not sell beer unless they brew a kettle of soup simultaneously.

Nevada
It’s illegal for men with mustaches to kiss women.

New Hampshire
It’s forbidden to sell the clothes you’re wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

New Jersey
It’s against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

New Mexico
Females may not appear unshaven in public.

New York
While riding in an elevator, you must talk to no one, fold your hands, and look toward the door.

North Carolina
It’s against the law to sing off-key.

North Dakota
It’s illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio
You must honk the horn whenever you pass another car, according to the state’s driver’s education manual.

Oklahoma
It’s forbidden to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.

Oregon
State law requires dishes to be drip-dried.

Pennsylvania
It’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Rhode Island
You may not bite off another person’s leg.


South Carolina
If a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, he is required by law to keep his promise.

South Dakota
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Tennessee
Selling hollow logs is strictly forbidden.

Texas
You may not shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

Utah
It is illegal not to drink milk.

Vermont
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

Virginia
Tickling a woman is unlawful.

Washington
It’s illegal to pretend that one’s parents are wealthy.

West Virginia
If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a six-month prison sentence.

Wisconsin
Unless a customer specifically requests it, margarine may not be substituted for butter in a restaurant.

Wyoming
Unless you have an official permit, you may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April.

I have the right to be who I am

That is what I learned on Sunday.

I am not gay. I am not trans-gender. And most days I am not bi-sexual or lesbian. The days I wonder are the days that being married to a man isn't one of my many blessings. And I am pretty sure that in the open mindset that I have and in the era that I live, I do find a woman on occasion that I find beautiful or intriguing. Then I come back to reality and remember that I do, in fact, enjoy men more and more particularly enjoy my husband.

I have had the pleasure in my lifetime gotten to meet and become friends with individuals who fall into the LGBT category. I also have had the DISpleasure of meeting individuals who fall into the LGBT category. It turns out, ladies and gentlemen, they aren't any different than those who I've met and become friends with or met and found I very much dislike who are heterosexual.

Guess what?

They are people too. Just like people of different races and people from different countries. They all have their own traditions, way of life, things they celebrate that are different than what I traditionally grew up with.

What I like most about the LGBT community is that they seem to be the most accepting group of EVERYONE I have met. I want my kids to be raised to be accepting of everyone the way I was and so I took Linus with me to the Pride Festival that was held in downtown SLC.

The festival was just like any other festival. There were the normal every day people. A few who were a little more glamorous and beautiful than normal people. And the obscene and over the top. Instead of it being white trash, it was gays, lesbians, and the occasional drag queen.

I enjoyed looking at the booths, the people, and enjoying the food.

Linus is at a stage in his development where he wants to be independent. Of course, that isn't always easy to achieve. Especially when we are out in public and there are a lot of people milling around. Matt bought him a backpack that has an attachable leash. I put that on him when he wants to walk around. That way I don't have to spend my time and mental focus on watching where he is all of the time. He walked around, enjoying the festival and others watched him and giggled.

It is very funny to hear the comments as we walk by. You can certainly tell those who have kids and those who don't.

From those who have kids, "That is the greatest invention EVER!" "Isn't that the best thing?"

From those who don't, "Hmmmm, I'm not too sure about the dog leash thing." "He's a kid, not a dog." "Backpack is cute, but what's up with the leash?"

Good thing I don't care what people think of my parenting skills huh?

Linus started to get bored and having a little temper tantrum right about the time we walked past a booth with a lady selling things for kids. Puppets, practical joke props, and....a bubble gun! Linus had to have it and I had to get it for him. He loves bubbles and I knew it would keep him occupied for a while.

I was right about it keeping him occupied. I was not, however, expecting all of the reactions we got from the bubble gun. He managed to shoot 3 out of 5 people there and not one of them was weird about it. Not one of them looked at me like, "Reign that kid of yours in would you?" Not one of them acted bugged by it. How great it was! All of them giggled, laughed, told him how cool his gun was, asked to be shot again, asked where we got it...one or multiples of these responses by everyone. Even though the bubble solution was stinky and slimy. And sometimes it got into food. No one complained or looked at me cross eyed.

Everyone was especially friendly and it was a very pleasant way to spend my Sunday brunch time.

So, as I've said, I have had the pleasure of meeting those who are LBGT. I have had the displeasure as well. I have seen the joy and happiness of those who have embraced who they are. I have seen the sadness and loss of those who have embraced who they are and have not been accepted. I have seen the anger and self destruction of those who don't embrace who they are because they don't think they have the right. I know that for some reason this is a controversial subject. That people think this is an awful way to be and can't stand supporting those who are "different." I for one, was taught Jesus loves everyone. I also was taught that everyone sins. So...if you feel this is a sin...*shrug* who are you to point a finger? I'm pretty sure that the fly on your wall has a few stories to tell itself.

I have the right to be who I am. Shouldn't everyone?

Torn.

I have been debating this posting for a while now.
I want to write it.
I don't want to write it.
I want to get it off my chest.
I don't want people to know that I feel this way.
I don't think people reading this will understand.

*deep breath* here goes...

I have, since becoming a parent, become enormously offended by the acts of a certain mother. I can't even fathom where this mother's head is. In fact, I am pretty sure that she is not, in fact, in any right mind. Not that she is particularly crazy, but just not in her right mind.

I have not read many of the news documents but I find it an abomination what she has done or allowed to be done to her son.

I will not be posting her name. She does not have a name any longer, just a number that will be assigned to her in prison. I am afraid that she and her husband are crazy enough to think it's great that their names are in the news, in the paper, all over the internet. I refuse to play into the possibility that they have a desire to be famous and now they've accomplished this. To me, you hurt a child, you are no longer a human being. It is ingrained to protect your young.

This poor little boy has suffered at the hands of monsters.

I believe in God. I believe in heaven. I believe he is there.

I am disgusted at what this poor little boy suffered, but at the same time, he didn't have to suffer for years like others have. He is gone now. He is in paradise. I can't be sad he is dead. I am not very sad when most people die. It's hard for me to be sad for someone I don't know. Especially when I don't know what's in store for them for the afterlife. I think it's usually a good thing. It's either probably better there than here or better for those here to have that person gone... does that even make sense? I can't grieve for people I don't know. I can grieve WITH people I see grieving though. I can feel a loss when a tragedy happens.  I can even feel anger. But I don't often feel sad unless it is someone I know. Then, I am usually grieving for MY loss. Not theirs.

I cried. Hard. When my Granny died. I still feel an empty place at times. Especially when I eat a BLT, Malt-o-Meal, or Cup O'Noodle Soup. I smile when I see Mary Kay makeup. I dream of her. She gives me good advice at night. She told me she really liked Matt and that he was a good choice. She approved.  But I didn't cry for her. I didn't cry for her death. I was joyous. I was so happy for her. I celebrated her life. I was sad for me and my family.

What I am torn about right now, is that there are children who are suffering right now. Who are tortured. Who are raped. Who are beaten. Who are starved. The list goes on and, unfortunately, on. I feel sad that more isn't being done for them. This particular case has sparked a lot of interest, a lot of fund raisers, a lot in the news, walks, etc. And maybe it's because it is so much more in my face due to the internet. But, I feel sad for those who don't get this. I feel sad for those families who have to bear the brunt of the bills incurred during death by themselves.

I guess what I wish is that if the suffering of children can not be stopped, I wish there was a group who did walks and charities that families could go to. Maybe not even for just families who have monsters that get their children, but for those who suffer loss from sickness or even the irrational SIDS death. (I say irrational because no one really knows what causes it and it's got to be heart wrenching to just have a child die.) That it not just be for one child. I don't know if there is one. If there is, I would like to try to get the word out. I can not even begin to imagine the loss of a child. But to lose your child in some manner and then watch as another family is able to "profit" from the death of their child would be adding insult to injury.

When I say "profit" I don't mean it in that sense, I can not think of another term.

Anyway, Saturday, I am going to a benefit to help raise money for the expenses that travel and death can accrue. I am going to give money and try to offer help. Here is the info if anyone is interested in helping. One day, if I become more organized, maybe I can start a charity for families. Until then...

Date:	Saturday, June 5, 2010
Time:	10:00am - 2:00pm
Location:	4331 West 8970 South West Jordan, Ut

Description

Come out and help us gather up funds for the Ethan Stacy fund.

Money will help out with the funeral costs, travel expenses, hotel accommodations, and more, for the family.

A lot of great vendors will be there!!!

Saturday, June 5th

4331 West 8970 South
West Jordan, UT
801-259-2353

10 am - 2 pm

Raffle tickets, $5 each, with the grand prize being a vacation voucher.
Raffle takes place at 2 pm

If you can't make it, and would like to help, here is the info for you to donate money.

Money is needed, and much appreciated.

TruPoint Bank
PO Box 1010
Grundy, VA 24614

Pay to the order of: Memorial Fund for Ethan Stacy

Small Joys

She is small. 3 pounds.

 She is my joy.

 And I get to watch her for a week. 

Nothing against you Michael, but you can go on more trips... I don't mind. :)

I just miss my Pali and it makes me happy to have her in my care for a week.  

The definition of me today.

Main Entry:	idiot
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	very stupid person
Synonyms:	blockhead, bonehead, cretin, dimwit, dork,dumbbell, dunce, fool, ignoramus, imbecile, jerk,kook, moron, muttonhead, nincompoop, ninny,nitwit, out to lunch, pinhead, simpleton, stupid,tomfool, twit
Notes:	an idiot  is a stupid person with a mental agebelow three years, while a moron  is a stupidperson with a mental age of between seven totwelve years

I am not sure after reading this definition if I am actually an idiot or merely a moron... but the fact still stands. Sometimes I am a very stupid person. 


Those of you who know me are probably nodding in agreement... or at least saying to yourself, "Why yes, sometimes you are." Those of you who don't know me so well, are probably thinking that no, I am not an idiot. But that's like saying I don't have freckles. Which I do.


So, we are getting off of a week long stint of sickness at my house. I don't get sick very often. And when I get sick, it's usually just a yucky bug for a day or so and I move on. Matt gets what I've had and he's down for the count. Literally down and dying. 


Linus had been sick with some sort of stomach bug for a couple days and it's been a stinky week for me at home. We started him on Pedialyte stuff to keep him hydrated. Both ends exploding is a messy stinky business. Just as I was ready to call the doctor, he got better. So...I thought, Hey, cool. No doctor visit with two kids to take them in and get one of them sick with something else. 


Sunday evening, I wasn't feeling so hot and made the off handed comment that maybe Matt should stay at home with me so that I could sleep off this bug I think I'm getting. Just to help me out a little for the one time I'm sick in a year and he had the nerve to come down with a more extreme case of exploding ends. And let me just say, he doesn't vomit quietly. *shiver with a hint of gag* 


Sigh. So much for me getting a little rest while I am feeling under the weather. For me, this whole episode consisted of a mild fever, a small episode of upset tummy/diarrhea, and nausea. The aches though. Those were the worse. My neck hurt. My knees hurt. My hips hurt. My back hurt. My head... I don't even know a word in the English language to explain. My. Body. Hurt. (Can you hear the whine in that? I hope so.)


So, I have one muy sick husband. One very healthy toddler. One very healthy creeper baby. And one sick me. We ended up taking turns sleeping and watching the kids which was great. I managed to get in enough sleep that today I actually feel pretty ok. Matt is still having some yucky tummy issues, but I am not sure how much of that is this sickness and how much is his stomach thing he's been dealing with for a year now. 


I figure that both kids are probably pretty stir crazy and I decided to take them out for a stroll. I had some packages to mail and I figured that since I am still in a place in my jean size that I am not happy I'd do something about it. Let's go for a walk to the UPS store kids!! It's just a quick 1.3 mile jaunt down a treacherous hill with crappy sidewalks. No biggie. And really, the way to the UPS store wasn't a big deal. It was very nice and pleasant. 


The way home... well, I guess I forgot that it wasn't downhill both ways. 


If you haven't seen the street I live on, it's kinda pretty much like walking around San Fransisco starting at Embarcadero Street. You can only go up. Or down I guess into the water. But it's not like a slight incline really. It's more like pushing a stroller up the stairs of the Empire State Building. I haven't walked more than a block in a long time. I'm so out of shape. 


We got home, thanks to Linus insisting on helping me push the stroller home. I would have definitely pushed myself to and past my limit of my stamina trying to get home as fast as I can. 
Burn those calories!! 
Burn that fat!! 
Build those muscles!!


Ya, remember we were sick for 4 days? 


I just wanted to repeat that I am an idiot. Way to push myself back to sick. 


I've decided that I didn't get sick like Matt and Linus. I got what celebrities call "exhaustion". I just don't have the luxury of going to the hospital, getting and IV, some good drugs, and sleeping it off. So I am working at staying in this exhausted/migrainy state of being that so far has left me not vomiting yet. YES!! *fist pump*


By the by, before I sign off on this post, I SO have to pimp out my shoes. I bought a pair of Tom's shoes. I have been wanting a pair. Been looking at buying a pair for two years now. Talked to a girl wearing a pair and asked if she liked them. She said she'll never buy another brand of shoes ever again. I finally bought a pair. I will never buy another brand of shoes again (other than my high heels cause they make me feel pretty). After walking that ridiculous walk, my feet don't hurt. My feet aren't swollen, achy, ugh feet that usually happen when I walk too far. I can stand all day at home walking around, cleaning, working and feel FABULOUS!! I love, love, love these shoes. 


Plus they donate a pair of shoes for every pair you buy. Bonus on the good vibes. 


Yup, definitely upgraded myself to moron. I at least wore sensible shoes this time. 

How...

does Linus come up with these things?

Most mornings, Linus wakes up around the same time that Matt wakes up to get ready for work. They usually kind of hang out a little, which I love cause #1 I get to sleep a little and #2 they get some daddy/son time. 

Matt turns on the TV to qubo before he leaves in the morning and so Linus is free to kind of run around our bedroom while I work on waking my sorry self up. 

Usually Linus wakes me up by poking me in the eye. Or poking his cup into my face. Or pushing a banana into my face. One day he did get his face as close to mine as he could till I woke up. He squealed then smacked me. Good Morning!

So, this morning, I woke up to Linus licking my cheek. Following the lick with "mmmm-num". 

???

Who knew I tasted so good in the morning?!? 

Unfortunately, he has started licking my arms, legs, feet, face, belly. Any chance he gets. 

Today, while getting ready to get in the shower, he licked my bum. 

I have a feeling for my own comfort we will no longer have co-ed showers in my house. He's not quite two, but it was too weird for even me. 

My fatty boombalattie

There was a little girl

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead

When she was good

She was very very good

But when she was bad 

She was HORRID

This is my little girl with all of her little curls and it makes me afraid that she has some of that poem in her. She is very very good a lot... but oh, I am afraid of the horrid.

My little baby girl is almost always a constant source of joy to me. From the top of her crazy hair down to her long crazy toes, she makes me smile. Her smile is not just a smile with her mouth. Her whole face lights up. She has to use her eyes, her mouth, her hair line moves. Her giggle is like tinkling bells. When she gets excited, her whole body lets me know. She kicks her feet, her arms shake, she sounds like she's hyperventalating.

She is finally sleeping on her own. All night long. Let me repeat. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Not that I do, but that's a different story. She wakes up at 4am to eat and then cuddle and sleeps with me until 8 or until Linus wakes us up. I am not one for co-sleeping because I don't sleep well. Bea smells so good to me that I don't mind having her cuddled right up to me for a couple of hours. I love to smell her head, her blanket, her car seat...unless there was a spit up. When she sleeps with us, it's cute. She has to cuddle and she doesn't even care who it is, so she rolls from Matt to me. When she reaches one of us, she'll *wigglewigglewiggle* till she gets herself tucked in as close as she can.

Little B loves her brother. Just looking at him makes her smile and giggle. She watches him and studies him and prefers him over most anybody else. He doesn't so much like her anymore. She is getting mobile and wants to play with him. He doesn't want to share. He has even started the "Don't touch me" thing.

On one hand I love that she's such a momma's girl, but it is difficult when I need to do something and someone else holds her and she starts to scream because I stepped away.

I love that she looks like she is half asleep almost all of the time and that she smiles so easily. I love her deep belly laugh and I can't help laughing with her when she does it.

I do not love her scream, but that is because my ears don't love it. Thankfully she doesn't do that too very often. Mostly when she is in need of one of the three necessities. Diaper change, food, or sleep.

I love that I feel that I have always known her. She seems an old soul to me. I love that in bonding with her, I have bonded better with my son. I love that she and Linus have really made Matt and I closer and more tightly bonded. It truly feels that we are a family.

I would never have thought in a million gazillion years that having a little girl would have made me this happy, this content, so full of peace. I know I say this now and that I do have the little princess stage, the know it all stage, the teenage angst and drama to look forward to. Maybe she will be more like me and not be so much a princess, too much of a know it all, and peacefully on the outside slide into teenage years. Maybe she'll be like my little sister. Too much princess, some know it all, very much drama into teenage years only to calm down once she had a baby near the end of her teenage life.

My favorite part of Bea and Matthew was their very first meeting. The look on his face when he saw her for the very first time... I have no words. It was beautiful.

This is my favorite baby picture or hers. She smiles at her daddy.

We had some rough early day pictures. She was not very photogenic. She had stoner face or her tongue was hanging out. But as my dad said, I'm glad she's grown into her face.

This is her "Superman Pick Me UP" pose. I did finally get a picture of her cute crooked smile though.

I know the whole color stuff is out of control in this pic and it hurts my eyes, but she sure is cute in that hat!

Linus and Bea in their gbums. They are the same size diaper. I sure hope she doesn't pass him up size wise...

This is Bea gazing lovingly at Matt's cousin Brian. Poor guy has nothing but sisters. He is AMAZING with kids.

My cutie patootie with her pigtails in...

The reason we put pigtails in her hair in the first place.

I CAN NOT get a picture of her smiling without it being blurry. She can't smile and hold still. Like I said, she smiles with her whole body.

The cutest picture I have of her with Grandpa Bailey. Oh, her smile melts me. Makes me smile even when I can't bear to bring one up. She melts Grandma Bailey's heart. She has her daddy wrapped around his finger already. I am afraid.

She makes me want another one.

Fly on the wall...

So here is a conversation that the fly on the wall heard the other day...

Matt: So..... I may have accidentally won an auction on ebay.
Me: Accidentally? What did you win? You've been shopping for eggs again?!?!
Matt: Silkie chicken eggs. ButIdidn'tmeantoIwasuplateandtheauctiondidn'tcloseforafewdayssoIputabidon. (spoken very fast translated to "But I didn't mean to. I was up late and the auction didn't close for a few days, so I put a bid on")
Me: *sigh + eye roll* How many?
Matt: 60
Me: WHAT?!?!? WTF are we going to do with 60 chickens?!?!
Matt: *giggling* just kidding. Only 15. Come look and see what I bought.

So we go and look online and...
Matt: Oh. It looks like I accidentally won another auction. Oops!

So, we received our silkie eggs in the mail today and should be receiving 6 red-golden pheasant eggs in the mail any day. Plus, our quail will be hatching the 20th-ish.

What have I gotten myself into!?

Hit in the head

I'm pretty sure that it is human nature to have a kind of knee jerk reaction to pain.

It's hot, pull back.
It pokes, pull it out. Isn't that how Steve Irwin died?
It squishes, pull away.
etc.

Of course, I'm only talking about physical pain. Emotional pain is a different story. Time and time again, we are hurting and we stay in the situation and even delve in further and make it worse.

So, Linus is getting tall enough that he can easily get into the kitchen drawers. He has been for a little while though, but has avoided the sharp drawer due to Mom and Dad's reaction to him trying to get it. So, we have managed to avoid any Linus/knife catastrophes to date.

Today, while bent over the coffee table trying to scrape off toddler crack that goes by the name of Gogurt, Linus hauled off and baseball swung our knife sharpener and hit me right on the bridge of my nose.

My immediate reaction was to throw whatever caused that body tingling, stars above my head, cuckoo sounding, sick down to my toes pain across the room.

I had a nanosecond to mentally override the instinctive knee jerk reaction to avoid the pain and preserve the life of my offspring. I am proud to say I succeeded.

In retrospect, in my nauseous state, am very glad it was the knife sharpener and not one of our knives that kit my nose. I am also very glad it was my nose and not Bea's head.

Child locks are being placed now as I type.

Now, I will go lay down and hope that he didn't break off a sharp piece of nasal bone that will slowly travel to my brain and kill me.  ;)

Expletive

Every once in a while, I have days where there is more going on than there is Amanda to go around. Yesterday was one of those days. There was the Race for the Cure, the Green Celebration in Library Square, an old friend of mine was having her baby shower in Brigham, I had some makeup I needed to drop off to another friend in Brigham, I'd promised my dad I'd come up to help him plant trees. So, I had to skip some and do others. I chose to go to Brigham.

I also found a babysitter for my kids and bought tickets to the 30 Seconds To Mars concert that evening and planned on meeting friends and having dinner before hand. All in all, a very overpacked day. I need to put this preamble in to explain that I started the day off with WAY too much to do, WAY too excited about the concert, so there was a little bit of anxiety and panic going on.

I woke up 2 hours later than I intended Saturday. I meant to run to Brigham early so I could help my dad, run my errands, then come back, be ready and be at dinner on time. Not only did I wake up late, it took me 2 hours to try to get me and the kids ready. I was having a numb brain day and just wasn't very efficient.

I made it to the baby shower late, stayed too long because I haven't seen Darla in quite a while, so I felt I should visit. I made it to my makeup drop off on time, but of course, I stayed too long. I like Karianne and this is the first time I have met her husband and kids. I sat in my car afterwards, not able to find my keys... darn my over busy brain!!

I showed up to help my dad and did as much as I could, but I didn't get near enough done that I would have liked. I needed at least 5 more hours. Which I would have had if I didn't plan on this concert. I did end up leaving Brigham a half hour later than I intended, so I felt very rushed.

I got home, got ready very quick, and as much as I love my darling husband, I don't think he understands time. He lives very much on his own clock. He came in a little after I did, started to do the dishes, and moved at a turtle's pace. By now I am almost in full panic mode. I was supposed to meet my friends for dinner at 4:00. It is now 4:45 and we are just barely leaving the house.... I know I need to relax, but I woke up running late... hard to get out of the rushing, panicky mode.

We got to the Gateway and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Oh ya, there was a playoff Jazz game. Sigh. Now to find parking somewhere in a 5 mile radius. Not to mention I am wearing heels cause they make me feel pretty. So, we find a parking spot, and start hiking to Happy Sumo. Me carrying Linus. Matt carrying Bea. I'm still in heels.

We start eating, and we aren't all that late for the food to arrive. But Linus started weazing a little, so I gave him a shot of Albuterol. And he turned into a public terror.

Bethany showed up not too long into us eating and we ran out to hand the kids over. I over assume things sometimes, assumed that she'd have a kid's seat for Mikayla because she will be 3 in my mind for a long time, and she's too old for a carseat. Bah! I hoof it to our car 2 blocks away to grab Linus's carseat, grab it, and hoof it back. In NBA season playoff traffic...and heels. And, to make matters even better, the sushi decides that it doesn't want to sit well...AHHHH!

I'm rushing not only to get back to Bethany and to my friends who are still sitting at Happy Sumo, but there may be an accident if I don't get to a restroom NOW!! And did I mention I'm wearing heels. Brand new high heels. And my feet are starting to burn?

10 minutes later, my guts feel better, and 4 of us are standing around planning where to meet, park, etc. for the show. And we take off. Again. I think my feet are bleeding at this point.

We pay for parking, head out to the Rail Event Center... and I'm not really sure what Matt is looking at, but at a stop light, after we had already stopped, his foot slipped off the brake pedal and he rear ended the car in front of us. All I can think, "Can this day get any worse?"

The answer to that is Yes. It can. And it did.

The guy got out of his car, looked at his car, no damage, so he got back in and drove away. Whew. We paid to park for the show, got out, and. the. tickets. are. gone. GONE!! MY FREAKING TICKETS FELL OUT OF MY POCKET!! I looked in the car, I called the sushi place, we went back and looked a little. Gone.

I am so disappointed at this point. I love concerts and this is the first one Matt and I were going to go to since Linus was born. I was so excited. It's hard to find a sitter on Saturday night, have a little extra money for a frivolity, and actually get to go. I rushed all day, anticipated all day, was a bad dinner companion to my friends, and then I have no tickets to get in. I just wanted to cry.

Matt thought maybe we could see a movie and at this point, I didn't want to spend any more money than I already had. I just wanted to go to Bethany's house, pick up the kids, and go home.

The disappointmet was trying to ooze out of my eyes. Almost made it too.

We got to Bethany's house and it turns out, she's having a crisis. Tory is sick, in the ER, and she needed someone to watch not only her baby, but my babies so she could go to the hospital. We showed up, took the kids, and she was able to focus on Tory. How weird is that?

I have an old friend who always said, "God loves a coincedence." It keeps you remembering that there is a higher power out there.

 I felt a little better about the whole evening. The dissapointment was still there. Still is. At least it stopped trying to ooze out of my eyes. I hate crying.

She's not mine...

Bea has been eating slimy baby food for about 2 months now. We tried her at 4 months like our pediatrician recommended and she just wasn't interested. So, I gave her a break and started back at about 5, maybe 5 1/2 months.

She LOVES to eat. I literally hear her saying *nom nom nom* as she's eating. She cries because I have to take the time to scoop up another giant, heaping baby spoon of slimy food.

She loves her cereals and would probably eat an entire box of it if I let her. She loves her vegetables. She'll demolish a jar of green beans in 10 seconds. She won't eat her fruits...

Wait...WHAT?!?!

She is obviously not my baby nor Matt's baby.

I think I spent a 3 month period eating nothing but brownies, butterfingers, and Code Red Mountain Dew. I would rather live off fruit and doughnuts and wash it down with Coke than eat anything else. Matt is the biggest chocolate fiend I've ever met. If there is anything with sugar in the house, fruit or otherwise, it is gone pretty quick. Linus lives off of yogurt. He gets a whiff that there is chocolate and there is no end to the whining that ensues until he gets it. Green beans make Linus gag. Peas make Linus gag. He will NOT eat potatoes.

Where did this little girl come from? Strawberries make her gag. She won't eat peaches. She will barely tolerate bananas.

Did you get that? STRAWBERRIES MAKE HER GAG!!


She isn't my baby.

um...*knockknockknock*...hello... Universe??

So, I am going to leave everyone who reads this with some sense of confusion and I will not be able to quell said confusion until sometime next week. Or maybe even in a month. I don't even know.

All I know is, I am concerned. I am worried about the health of a family member. I know what my overactive imagination is telling me and I am somewhat worried it is that "still, small voice" everyone talks about. I am worried that life is about to get really hard.

Or, it could be nothing and a simple pill everyday will suffice.

So, please keep my family in your thoughts, and send some good vibes our way. Prayers are welcomed for those who pray.

Thank you. :)

Overkill

Ok, so, to make it easier for me and others to remember my blog website, I have changed the name. I am sending all of my old posts over to the new one. I don't know who all reads this, so I will get the word out as many places as I can. The new one is
http://beasandroses.blogspot.com/

I just thought it was cute what with Bea (bee...buzz) and my middle name Rose. Anyway, a little Bailey girl power over here. And I am the only one who writes here so there. :P

I will probably post here that I have a new posting there for a while until the word gets around to my few readers. Thanks!!

Mystery Pez

The longest day in a while was when Linus went into the hospital with his asthma attack. I had around 2 hours of sleep that night and went into the ER at 4 am and there was no rest for mom that day. Matt can sleep almost anywhere, and he volunteered to sleep in the hospital with Linus while I went home to sleep in my bed to recharge for the next day. I came home to my beautiful Bea, my dogs, and my mom watching them. And a package that had come in the mail for me. I was a little nervous to open it because it was only addressed to my first name, I had no idea who it was from, and in my exhausted state, I could not control my sometimes raging imagination.

Instead of it being a bomb or an anthrax filled letter (yes, in my mind I am that important.) I received this...

So, this X-wing pilot from Star Wars Pez dispenser was so far off in left field, I was left speechless. 

Then I checked it for candy.

So, when we got home from the hospital, finally, the next day late in the evening, I was as surprised, if not more so, to find another package addressed to me. 

Opening it, I found two Pez dispensers. Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. And these two are OLD. How freaking cool! 

Wait a minute... who know that deep down I love the strawberry Pez candy and also knows I haven't had any in years, and years, and years, and years? This is creepy.

So, on facebook, I posted about my mystery Pez sender and the different Pez dispensers I've received. It was a lot of fun, but very strange, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out who was sending these to me. I knew it was from Ebay, because all of the boxes had an ebay insignia on it.

Other than that... no idea.

A good friend of mine suggested that maybe the person would send me something everyday until my birthday and then reveal themselves. It never occurred to me that my birthday was coming up. Then I thought that maybe it was her.

So, after a while, I started to run out of room on my kitchen counter and my husband started asking me,"So what's with the Pez? Why are you buying Pez dispensers?" And I could honestly say that it wasn't me. He finally told me to quit buying things off the internet while on Ambien. That was funny enough I giggled pretty hard.

While looking on facebook one day, I noticed a friend of mine post a reference to Pez. So...I started thinking...could it be?

And yes, on my birthday, they came over with a box wrapped full of more Pez dispensers and admitted their guilt in the "ebay stalking".

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, kids of all ages.....drum roll please.... (and this does call for capslock) THE MYSTERY PEZ DISPENSER HAS BEEN REVEALED...IT IS....Darren (and I am not sure how much his daughter, but I'll give her credit) and Rowan Lamb. You may remember Darren as the Buddhist Monk who married Matt and I? A good friend who I have enjoyed getting to know better and have enjoyed getting to know his daughter. What a blessing you two are to have as friends! Thanks guys!!

So, in the end, this is my Pez inventory (and if my computer hadn't hit the crapper with a big chocolate bunny, I'd post pictures. As it stands, I'll have to do that later.):

1- Giant Garfield dispenser
1- Giant plush elephant dispenser with giant toy pez candy inside
1- Giant Darth Vader dispenser (by far the coolest!!!)
1- mini elephant key chain dispenser
1- whistle dispenser
3- watermelon head dispensers
1- apple head dispenser
1- grape head dispenser
1- bee head from Bug's Life dispenser
2- Jungle Mission Survival Kit dispensers (one purple, one orange)
1- Maggie Simpson dispenser
1- Tasmanian Devil dispenser
2- Daffy Duck dispensers
1- Tweety Bird dispenser
1- Pluto dispenser
1- Donald Duck dispenser
2- Mickey Mouse dispensers (the Donald and one of the Micky's are very old, antique pez, if you will)
1- Tigger dispenser
1- Elmo dispenser
1- Bert dispenser
1- Ernie dispenser
3- Gonzo dispensers
5- various bug dispensers
1- Lightning McQueen dispenser
1- Buzz Lightyear dispenser
1- Woody dispenser
2- Baby Jack Incredible dispensers
1- Fiona from Shrek dispenser
2- Puss in Boots dispensers
1- Snowman dispenser
4- Elf dispensers
3- Santa Claus dispensers
3- Reindeer dispensers
1- Wolverine dispenser
2- Batman dispenser
1- Harvey Twoface dispenser
1- Spiderman dispenser
2- Incredible Hulk dispensers
1- brown fuzzy bear dispenser
1- panda fuzzy bear dispenser
3- various Garfield dispensers
4- Barney Rubble dispensers
1- Ewok dispenser
2- X-wing pilot dispensers
2- Boba Fett dispensers
2- Chewbacca dispensers
2- Darth Vader dispensers
2- Yoda dispensers
3- C3PO dispensers
2- Princess Leia dispensers
Have I mentioned that I love Star Wars?
And the Grand Finale...
13- Imperial Stormtrooper dispensers (I am pretty sure they are all 501st Legion) ((ya, I'm a nerd))

Grand Total...

98 Freaking dispensers!! Do you know how much candy that is?!?!


Well, there could actually be 100, I did the math on NyQuil AND I need to do a thorough check to make sure I find all the ones Linus got to first. 

Check out this art...

So, my good friend, who I have known since Jr. High School, started her own company called "Anahera Gifts" See, her middle name is Anahera and it's beautiful.

Anyway, she has given her website a makeover and I'd like everyone to check it out. She makes very creative and cute baby gifts and wedding gifts. She will ship them where ever and it's a great idea if you are going to a baby or wedding shower anytime. Or maybe if a friend is getting married or having a baby and you can't make it. How fun to send something so cute and useful!

Here it is, please check it out...
Anahera Gifts

Cheeza Louiza!

If you read this blog, then it is common knowledge that we have had to give up our dogs due to this...

This is right before Linus' first ambulance ride which he calmed down and really enjoyed.

The rest of the these are him in the hospital. I figured I'd post pictures since I finally figured out how to pull the pics off my phone instead of emailing them all to myself and then downloading them to my computer...blah blah blah.

After this awesome experience, his allergist did the scratch tests and he is allergic to not only dog dander, but to the saliva as well.

 So..........good by my precious dogs.

Moxie is with Bethany.

Blue is with Linzy and her son Xander.

And Pali is with Michael downstairs. As you can see, they love each other. :) So, at least that makes this whole dog thing better. I can see my dogs whenever I need to and know they are being well taken care of.

The allergist also said that we will probably want to get rid of the furniture and carpets as soon as we can to fully see the benefits of Linus being allergy free. Since the dander and hair is all over them. AND the dogs licked and chewed on the couch. We have sold one couch, still trying to sell the other one, and working on getting rid of the carpet and buying new carpet. And can I just say that the dogs that lived here before...ew. There is still so much long hair that has settled under the carpet and I know they weren't as taken care of as they needed to be with their long hair. AND there are some major dog pee stains on the pad. Those weren't my dogs. I remember the few places they peed.

So, with all of this...Good-bye $$$.

Only to find out, we have a leak in the water main on our side of the piping.

Good-bye more $$$. When it rains  it pours right?

Matt started to look online to find a plumber who would fix the water main, who wouldn't tear up the front lawn and rip down the yard, and wouldn't tear out two walls of sheet rock that we'd have to go back in and fix. We've had ENOUGH sheet rock fixing in this house to last a while. Only one company out of 12 fit the bill AND he was super competitive with the pricing.

This is what it looked like when they got done digging up our yard.

And this is what it looked like when they were done.

Notice they planted our bush back where it was.

They did a great job. In and out in 3 to 4 hours. What a welcome change of pace when most things go so wrong around here.










And last but not least, I just wanted to leave you with a cute picture to remind you to stop and smell the flowers...